This Is NOT How The Fantasy Is Supposed To Go

WORLD’S HOTTEST WOMAN IS LETTING US DOWN, PEOPLE

FITSNews – February 24, 2008 - Let’s make one thing perfectly clear – when we imagine Angelina Jolie making out with other girls, you better believe that this is NOT our “go-to” image. In fact, we’re doing everything within our considerable power to erase these pictures from our minds as quickly as possible. WTF, Angelina? You’ve got hot women from all over the world virtually begging you to seduce them, and you end up picking Miss Marple?

Anyway, from Flynet we have the story of Misty Cooper, a thirty-six year old producer’s assistant who claims Jolie seduced her on the set of the film “Gone In Sixty Seconds.”

“We immediately felt the sexual chemistry, and I could feel that she was also giving off a vibe. She looked super-hot, and I really wanted her.” Misty said.

Trust us, there’s a lot more to Miss Marple’s description, but we’ve made the editorial decision to ignore it because, frankly, she’s about as hot to us as Eleanor Roosevelt … well, if you dug her up a couple centuries from now. Thirty-six years old? Ummm … maybe if you add a zero. And a coffin. Mmmmm. Now that’s hott with two “T’s,” people.

Say it ain’t so, Angelina, say it ain’t so … now, for your punishment (or is it ours?), we’ve decided we’re only going to fantasize about you once every 3.5 seconds, as opposed to once every 2.5 seconds. That oughtta teach you a thing or two!