KEITH KELLY ONE RUNG ABOVE PRIMORDIAL OOZE
FITSNews – February 23, 2008 – When it comes to statesmanship, S.C. Rep. Keith Kelly‘s definition is apparently “Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.” That’s because this mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging redneck from Spartanburg, S.C. filed a bill this week that would permit South Carolina lawmakers to carry concealed weapons on State House grounds.
So let’s get this straight – these guys have royally screwed up everything they’ve touched, so hey, let’s give them guns.
“The idea is not to have a shootout at the OK Corral,” Kelly told reporters last week.
It’s not? Damn. Because that would be fun as hell to cover.
According to Kelly – who sounds to us like a mildly-retarded version of Roscoe P. Coltrane – the purpose of the bill is to eliminate an inconvenience for lawmakers who like to go hunting as soon as the legislative session wraps up each week.
Look Bocephus, last time we checked, this state’s legislative process wasn’t created to cater to your hunting schedule. Go shoot Bambi all you want, that’s fine with us, but stop wasting our time and money trying to institutionalize your inability to drive five minutes to a friggin’ hotel room to pick up your piece.
By Juan Valdez February 23, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Why the coffee pot?
By b February 23, 2008 at 5:22 pm
This guy is hilarious…Thanks for this…What a redneck! How many billiard balls can this guy fit in his mouth and still talk? He should join a carnival or circus or something…Impressive…
By Silence Dogood February 23, 2008 at 11:25 pm
FITS on a serious side note, if Kelly wants to be more safe while at the State House maybe he should put in a bill instead to have an armed security force there at all times of plain clothes and uniformed police to…oh wait…to late since that’s already up and running.
By Some one who cares.... February 24, 2008 at 9:19 am
Well Will, he’s certainly no Thad Viers is he?
By Ron February 24, 2008 at 11:12 pm
fits news:
Do you believe that had the students at Virginia Tech been packin on the day of the massacre, that lives would have been saved or more lives lost?
By Ron February 24, 2008 at 11:56 pm
Silence Dogood:
Virginia Tech has a campus police force that was not a deterrent to the massacre. Don’t kid yourself that a similar circumstance couldn’t arise at the SC State Capital!
By fitsnews February 25, 2008 at 12:38 am
Ron,
We have no problem w/ people packin’ heat, but we’re guessing all those students at Va Tech went to class without having to go through a metal detector or having their bookbags X-rayed, which is what everybody who enters the State House goes through.
We don’t know what the answer is here, but we do know that Keith Kelly breathes through his mouth almost exclusively.
-FITSNews
By Silence Dogood February 25, 2008 at 11:19 am
Ron thanks for the FYI, but also keep in mind the size of the state house complex vs. Virginia tech., the number of legistors and staff vs. a bustling campus of tens of thousands of students. I don’t the comparison is even close.
By Robert Iacomacci March 19, 2008 at 12:41 pm
When will people wake up? It is time the Legislature got some back bone and simply nullify federal mandates. It is bad enough that most of the federal mandates are unfunded. However, these so called lawmakers in Columbia lack a basic understanding of law. If they did, how could they comply with the No Child Left Behind Act, or the Federal Real ID Act, (an act they supposedly voted to not comply with). The double talk of this legislature knows no bounds, in that it is now seeking ways under the direction of the Speaker of the House to comply with the Federal Real ID Act. There is no Constitutional grounds for the federal government to mandate the Real ID Act, or the No Child Left Behind Act for that matter. Yet, our legislature, unaware of the Constitution votes to comply with these illegal federal acts. It is time to simply say no to the federal government. And please don’t give me this 9-11 crap either. I am one South Carolinian that is not willing to surrender an ounce of freedom for government sponsored safety. It might be time to think about nullification and secession again. Back in those days, our legislature had courage. You don’t have to measure the standard by which they acted, the fact that they acted in the best interest of South Carolina instead of the super elitists in Washington, is enough reason to respect their actions. Where are such men today?
Surely if every student was educated in the proper use of handguns, and issued one, the incident at Virginia Tech, would have been stopped before it got out of control, if it would have happened at all. Suppose he took an axe and went on a rampage? Would axes become illegal? The fact that he used a gun, simply means he used a weapon, the weapon did not kill anyone, the boy did.