S.C. Chief Justice Narrowly Avoids Lightning Strike
FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING, OF COURSE
FITSNews - February 13, 2008 - In case you were wondering why S.C. Chief Justice Jean Toal chose last night to get state lawmakers good and liquored up (with your tax dollars?), surprise! This afternoon, Toal addressed a joint session of the S.C. General Assembly, the same bunch of Bocephuses she recently proposed giving pay raises to for the awesome job they’re doing for states other than South Carolina.
Given Toal’s extensive familiarity with hangovers, we’re not surprised in the least that this seemed like a good idea. Everybody knows its harder to pay attention when a polka band is playing in your head. Anyway, here’s what Her Highness had to say about the recent state bar exam scandal, in which her court threw out an entire section of the test so that the Charleston School of Law could look smarter / be worth more money:
“Your Supreme Court made this decision with the sole motivation of trying to be fair,” Toal said. “Judicial independence is the bedrock of our profession.”
Hmmmm. Judicial independence may indeed be the bedrock of Toal’s profession, but that quote is unquestionably the fossilized dinosaur poop beneath it. In fact, we hear a team of sexy geologists just confirmed that. Additionally, Toal becomes the second S.C. Supreme to come off sounding like a damn 19th Century British literature professor in trying to talky-talky out of this scandal.
Comments
By Gal Leo on February 13th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Is there any truth to the rumor that she actually said she welcomed a legislative investigation into the bar exam problems? If so, how quickly could she be accommodated on that?
By Pete on February 13th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
How many time does one have to tell a lie before it becomes the truth? Is Queen Jean saying that “Judicial Independence” means that we have to believe any and everything she says because she is “Judicially independent?” Bring the ABA on down next month.
By Jimmy on February 13th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
This is an example of my favorite type of your posts. Rather than supplying facts to support your proposition, or even reproducing more than two phrases from the Chief Justice’s speech and giving reasons why you find her position inaccurate, you seem content to simply call her a liar. I mean, I guess yours is a defensible position; but you could have just given her quotes, said “Nuh ah!” and been done with it. (The reply would, I suppose, go along the lines of “yes huh!”) This sort of stuff makes you seem less like someone with an intelligent perspective to bring to the public discourse and more like an immature hatchet man. My guess is you’re a bit of both, but mostly the latter. (insert “nuh ah” reply here)
By kING RICHARD on February 13th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
DO YOU EVER AGREE WITH ANYONE OTHER THAN YOUR SELF?
By fitsnews on February 14th, 2008 at 8:34 am
#1- We hope so …
#2 - No doubt!
#3 - Nuh ah!
#4 - Not often …
Have a nice day, people …
-FITSNews
By Such Goings-Ons In This State on February 14th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
“Judicial independence is the bedrock of our profession.†In pre-hysteric times, Fred, Wilma and the Rubbles might take exception to the comparison. Dino would merely attack citing “judicial prejudice.”
I just moved here, and I find the state politics to be quite entertaining for all the wrong reasons.
By Pete on February 14th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
#4 - Jimmy: You want an example of a specific lie from Queen Jean? Check the South Carolina Judiciary website. There is a copy of Queen Jean’s 2008 speech and her 2007 speech. In 2008, she says, “AS I ANNOUNCED LAST YEAR AT THIS TIME, SOUTH CAROLINA HAS APPLIED TO THE AMERICAN BAR ASSOCIATION FOR AN EVALUATION BY ITS SPECIALISTS OF OUR SYSTEM FOR LAWYER AND JUDICIAL DISCIPLINE.” Check the 2007 speech. There is no reference to such an announcement. Another pesky scrivener’s error, I presume.
By You Coward on February 14th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
sic(k) willie chickened out on his promise to crash that party.
Otherwise he’d be blogging from the Richland Country Detention Center where they recently dedicated a lower bunk in his honor.
The staff and inmates voted unanimously to retire sic(k) willie’s bunk and reserve it for his exclusive use in the future.
In an exclusive interview with BIN News a Detention Facility long term inmate, Festus Elroy Tyrone Bubba “The Big Thumper” Johnson, told us he and his “homies” are looking forward to willie’s next visit.
While scratching the “Kiss My Hairy @ss” tattoo on his forehead, Elroy said, “We’be sooo lookin forward to seein weeweewillie again.”
Elroy continued by reflecting on the first time he met sic(k) willie back in the woods. Here is a transcript:
Elroy: “Be still now. Now let’s you just drop them pants.”
willie: “Drop?”
Elroy: “Just take ‘em right off!”
willie: “I mean, what’s this all about?”
Elroy: “Don’t say anything, just do it.”
Elroy’s Buddy: “Just drop ‘em, boy!”
Elroy: “Pull off that little bitty shirt there, too.”
Elroy: “Them panties, take ‘em off.”
willie: “No, no, no. Oh, no. Don’t.
Elroy: “Hey, boy. You look just like a hog.”
willie: “No, don’t.”
Elroy: “Just like a hog. Come here, piggy, piggy, piggy.”
Elroy’s Buddy: “Come on, give me a ride.”
willie : “All right.”
Elroy’s Friend: “Looks like we got us a sow here…”
willie: “Don’t! Don’t!” :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
Elroy: “What’s the matter, boy? I bet you squeal. I bet you can squeal like a pig. Let’s squeal. Squeal now. Squeal. Squeal.”
Elroy: “Squeal louder. Louder! Get down now, boy! There, get them britches down. That’s that.”
Elroy: “You can do better than that, boy. Come on, squeal. Squeal! What you wanna do with him?
Elroy’s Buddy: “He got a real pretty mouth, ain’t he?”
At this point we need to stop. We’ve certainly made sic(k) willie so hot that he can’t stop himself from… Well, we know what he does with his free time and his “pretty mouth.”
By Pete on February 15th, 2008 at 9:39 am
BIN or You Coward: The link to the South Carolina Arts Commission website which has a contest or two going on for creative writing is located here: http://www.southcarolinaarts.com/ I wouldn’t bother, though. James Dickey did your story a heck of lot better forty years ago.
By Janus on February 18th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Fits,
Can you please stop implying that Justice Toal changed the scores to improve CSOL’s standings? You like to imply that our S. Court is socialist. But having two good schools would increase competition, which is a capitalist fundamental. So either Justice Toal is pro-competition, making her not a Socialist, or, maybe, just maybe, she propped up the scores to reassure her friends that the privileged graduates of USC Law would be taken care of, even when if it means bumping CSOL.
I mean, how does bumping CSOL’s rankings up reflect Justice Toal’s ideology? I just don’t understand what her motivation is, unless she supports having two competing law schools.
Thanks Fits, keep up the good work otherwise. By the way, have you ever thought of keeping a record of how many times your scoops have been borrowed by La Socialista? Kind of a running tally on the right hand side of the page? That would be pretty cool.
By CL on February 19th, 2008 at 9:07 am
Janus,
How in the world does increasing the scores protect USC? I think 1 of the students was a USC grad. The only parties that stood to benefit were the (well-connected) individuals who passed and the Charleston School whose accreditation is in the balance. This is especially true now that the ABA has formalized the passage percentage required for accreditation (75% 3 out of last 5 years, see below). Toal has good friends involved in the CLS. In this state, that is motivation enough.
http://www.abajournal.com/news/aba_approves_bar_pass_standards/
By MAB on February 10th, 2009 at 11:20 am
[How did I miss this post last year? Oh. Maybe b/c court stuff = b-o-r-i-n-g.]
“You Coward” = “BIN” = “was probably sodomized as a child, and now wants to re-inflict the abuse on another innocent.”
That would be you, Sic Willie.
[don't publish this...it will just get BIN going down this path again.]