These People Are Too Perfect
GAVIN AND GWEN ARE HAVING ANOTHER BABY
FITSNews - January 30, 2008 - Both are super-rich, super-talented rock-n-roll stars who together have sold about eleventy kabillion albums. They also made perhaps the best-looking baby in history, and have another little one on the way. Such is life for Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani, who are so perfect it’s hard to believe they’re not aliens.
Seriously, our guess is that this kid will sleep through the night, never poop its diaper, speak five languages at birth and have a record deal by the time it hits puberty. It will probably also cure cancer, eradicate poverty, crush radical Jihadism and stabilize a foundering global economy, not to mention figure out how to levitate car keys and stuff when your hands are full, or invent an Angelina Jolie cloning machine or self-heating coffee cup.
We don’t believe in reincarnation or anything, but if we did we would be in Gwen Stefani’s tummy right now, people - learning Swahili, perfecting a plan for geopolitical homeostasis and adding helpful new elements to the periodic table. Is anybody writing this stuff down? It’s dark in here, dammit.
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