Deconstructing Rocket

CLEMENS TEAM GETS CALLED OUT AS CONGRESSIONAL STEROID HEARINGS LOOM

FITSNews - January 29, 2008 - We enjoy covering the steroids issue because pretty much every article written about it includes some sort of reference to needles being stuck in people’s butts. Which is good imagery, all you aspiring writers. Anyway, the latest Roger Clemens opus from senior Sports Illustrated correspondent Tom Verducci is no exception. In taking issue with the latest report put out by the embattled pitcher’s team of lawyers and spin doctors, Verducci wastes little time in playing the “butt card,” and in the process gets a little Tyler Durden-y on us:

Here’s the closest the report comes to referencing the real issue at hand: “It has been suggested that Clemens’ performance during July and August of 1998 was unusual.”

“Unusual,” of course, is code for the Mitchell Report finding of McNamee sticking needles full of steroids into Clemens’ butt back then.

Did Clemens use steroids or didn’t he? Who knows. Probably. What we do know is that for the second time in four years, baseball’s biggest stars are being called before the Congressional gavel to testify about the use of performance-enhancing drugs in baseball. We also know that “butt” is a naughty word, and you should really say “bottom” instead.