Echo Chamber – Who’s Hot At The (S.C.) State House?

BRAINS, BEAUTY COLLIDE IN THE CORRIDORS OF PALMETTO POWER

FITSNews – January 20, 2008 – Every time we do one of these lists, it seems we end up pissing off more people than we make happy. Which (if you think about it) is pretty much par for the course around here.

And even though they did have to twist our armses (and legses) into doing this year’s “Who’s Hot” list, make no mistake, we still derived a modicum of sick, sadistic pleasure from writing it.

Having said that, our focus this year was on women who not only rated high on the “Schwwwing!-O-Meter,” but on the corporate ladder and IQ chart, as well. Successful, intelligent, powerful and pretty, each of these babes epitomizes the kind of woman you’d want your daughter to grow up and become - not just physically, but personally and professionally as well.

We’ll be publishing our “dude” list in next weekend’s “Echo Chamber,” but without further adieu, here at long last is the 2008 “Who’s Hot At The (S.C.) State House” list …

1. Mandy Morris

Number one with a bullet, this photo of Ms. Morris caused a major security stir at the highest levels of state government last week, which in South Carolina basically means that a bunch of junior-level State House staffers got together around the watercooler and muttered “that damn Will Folks, what a jerk!” over and over again to each other. At any rate, we apologize for not knowing more about Mandy, but we can tell you she’s in law school and from what we hear she should have no trouble passing the bar exam on her own merits. She also works closely with another “Who’s Hot,” recipient, House legal counsel Jennifer Robinson.

2. Lisa McGill

If anyone ever deserved to wear a tiara, it’s Ms. McGill. Entering her second year as legislative liaison for the Medical University of South Carolina, she’s quickly established herself as one of the brightest, most likeable young lobbyists in the business. The daughter of State Sen. Yancey McGill, Lisa is one of those rare drop-dead gorgeous babes whose inner beauty actually exceeds the grace and elegance you see on the outside. There’s just not an ounce of pretension to her, and she’s friendly to everyone no matter what, which is one reason Sic Willie has taken to calling her “the princess.” Which reminds us, Lisa, we may or may not have delivered a pony to your Lowcountry office this morning … so be sure to stock up on some oats on your way to work.

3. Lauren Eaves

Every law that hits the books in South Carolina must first pass through a small, windowless, first-floor office at the S.C. State House known as the “bill room.” The lucky laws, of course, get a brief stopover at the desk of Ms. Eaves, a Greenwood native and USC grad who’s entering her fourth legislative session in Columbia. We’d like to send a special shout-out to Lauren today, because it turns out she just got engaged! Like … while we were writing this list! Congrats, girlfriend … hearts are breakin’ all across the Carolinas tonight!

4. Katie Dunning

We’re not sure what uber-lobbyist Larry Marchant puts in the drinking water over at The Palmetto Policy Group, but we can say the visual relief at his Devine Street digs is by far and away the best in town. In fact, Ms. Dunning – who at 24 is already one of the State House’s most talented, aggressive and knowledgeable lobbyists – faces some pretty stiff competition inside her own building. Can anybody say Lindsay Lohan? Or Linda Fiorentino? Aye Cabana Boy! Of course the most beautiful “Larry Girl” of all-time left his office recently, but Sic Willie is happy to report she’s doing just fine … :)

5. Elizabeth Ballentine

(NO PICTURE AVAILABLE, DAMNIT)

This former Governor’s Office staffer and SC BIPEC political analyst now works for Titlemax as a legislative consultant, spreading the joy of title lending far and wide beneath the State House dome. Rumor had it Ballentine was headed for Texas recently – which she confirmed to FITSNews was briefly in the cards – but thankfully for all of us here in South Carolina, those plans changed. Another perspicacious young lobbyist with great people skills and a solid head on her shoulders, Ballentine is simply one of the best-looking brunettes we’ve ever seen in our lives. And that includes people we’ve only seen on television. In fact, we almost killed ourselves when this gorgeous Furman grad didn’t submit a picture with her bio (editor’s note: frowny face) C’mon, Elizabeth! Hook us up! Everybody else did!

6. Nikki Haley

It’s hard to believe sometimes that Nikki Haley is entering just her fourth year in Columbia. The lone woman to make both the Palmetto Power 100 and the “Who’s Hot” list, Haley is a second-term State Representative from Lexington County who is quickly rising through the GOP ranks. In addition to boasting one of the best fiscal conservative records in all of state government, Haley is also known for her irrepressible work ethic and fierce independent streak. Oh, she’s also famous for looking so good in pink that Sic Willie once walked smack dab into a stone column in the State House lobby. Ouch!

7. Clara Smith

While it’s true that Clara represents the Ambulance Chaser … er, Injured Workers’ lobby … we really can’t hold that against her. Nor can we repeat in polite company what it was that Sic Willie attempted to hold against her when the two of them got together for the “Who’s Hot” cover shoot (which produced the picture at the top of this page). All we can say is thank God he’s an infant! In all seriousness, though, Clara is as good a lobbyist as there is in Columbia, and she’s also one of the most genuinely caring and fun-loving people you’ll ever meet in your life. We’re not sure it’s fair that God decided to hand out brains, beauty and benevolence to one person in such quantities, but if anybody deserved it, we think you’ll agree it’s Clara …

8. Merideth Strawhorn

We’re officially never spelling “Merideth” the same again, and you probably won’t either after getting a look at Ms. Strawhorn. This mom-to-be (congrats, Mere … er … Meri … er, nevermind) has a monster resume, complete with stints in the Governor’s Office and at South Carolina’s biggest PR firm, Chernoff Newman. We don’t know Merideth as well as some of the other girls on our list, but she’s eminently-respected by her peers and recognized around the State House for her hard work and remarkably successful track record on behalf of her clients. We also can’t hold it against her that she works for a bunch of Democrats over at Hodges Consulting, because let’s face it, people, it’s S.C. politics … they’re ALL Democrats!

9. Ashley Smith

This Greenville native combines serious State House experience (she’s worked with both Larry Marchant and Richard Davis, arguably the two most powerful lobbyists in the state), grassroots work at the party level (she’s a former SCGOP 3rd vice-chair) and major league campaign work (with the infamous Rod Shealy) into an incredibly potent political resume. She also has impeccable taste in clothes and a shoe collection that would make Imelda Marcos blush.

10. Casey Martin

Casey and her sister Lindsey Bonds should probably be sharing this spot, in all fairness. They’re both smokin’ hot, supercool and (are we hitting on a theme here, or what?) solidly on the fast-track to State House stardom. Casey is also one of the funniest people we’ve ever met, with a great sense of humor and infectuous smile to go with what has to be the single most sensational a- … a- … ahhh damn it all, we’re really trying to behave this year! Besides, don’t you guys get enough T&A on this site already?!?!? Anyway, Casey’s currently the Director of Government Affairs for the University of South Carolina, which is as big a job as it sounds, especially when you consider that USC is currently trying to annex the entire eastern seaboard. Before that she worked eight years for the Medical University of S.C., which means she probably started there in sixth grade because seriously, she doesn’t look a day over twenty, people.

11. Jennifer Robinson

Our e-mails have been blowing up ever since we featured Ms. Robinson on our little website the other day. Which reminds us, to the eighty-four of you who included “Coo-coo-ca-choo” in the subject lines of those e-mails, congratulations! It turns out you are all incredibly original people. Anyway, the lead attorney for the House LCI Committee was a great sport about becoming famous via FITS, although we’re sure the goodwill we’ve kindled will probably go up in smoke later this week when we take the House Insurance subcommittee out for a ride … and we’re not talking about the “Freeway of Love,” people …

PARTING THOUGHTS …

Well, that’s it for this year’s list … we hope you had as much fun as we did …

Oh, we’d also like to send some shout-outs to several young ladies who would’ve made the list, but happened to be employed by people who vowed to separate Sic Willie from his testacles if their names appeared. So to Sara Hopper of the S.C. Manufacturers’ Alliance (for example), here’s lookin’ at you, babe.

There’s also an exceptionally beautiful, intelligent and upwardly-mobile young legislative aide working in the Governor’s Office that we’d like to send some props to … hopefully next year she’ll let us put her name on the list!

Thanks to everybody who sent in their suggestions, thanks to the ladies who were kind enough to play along and submit pictures, and thanks most of all to the very special young lady who puts up with Sic and his occasional (editor’s note: every 3.2 seconds) lecherous thoughts on a full-time basis …

Comments

Trackbacks

• No. 3 Got Married | FITSNews For Now