THE SCANDAL EVERYONE’S BEEN FOLLOWING BUT US …
FITSNews – January 16, 2008 – We had no idea there was some huge scandal going on over at the Central Intelligence Agency until a friend of ours in Washington D.C. called us last night and told us about it. At least we think that’s what they told us. It was right after some pretty intense phone sex (which we had to pay for), and we have a tendency to lose focus after …Â you know, nevermind.
Anyway, there’s an update on this thing in today’s Washington Post, and as far as we can tell it involves the illegal destruction of tapes that purportedly show Arab terrorists getting dunked underwater. Which for some reason is also illegal.
We may just be saying this because we don’t want to get on the CIA’s shit list, but since when did dunking somebody underwater become torture? That seems as stupid to us as the idea that lethal injection is “cruel and unusual punishment.”
Of course we’ve never been lethally-injected, so we wouldn’t know, but our guess is that it’s probably better than being savagely murdered by some redneck named Pee Wee. It’s probably also better to get dunked underwater than to have the building you work in get hit by a jet airplane, but again, we’re just guessing here.
UPDATE – Uhhh … here’s a good laugh. Some guy actually “waterboarded” himself.
By Chris January 16, 2008 at 8:20 am
It’s easy for you and I to mock it, but after reading this guy’s first hand account on himself, I have a slightly different opinion.
Barring that, WTF is the United States of America involved in any torture? I used to think we were better than that…
By Chris January 16, 2008 at 8:25 am
You’re supposed to link it, stupid.
By fitsnews January 16, 2008 at 8:31 am
Chris,
Good points … and thanks for taking the time to post them.
While we don’t necessarily disagree w/ you, our simple point is that however bad it is, it would still be preferable to getting hit by an airplane.
Read the book “102 Minutes” if you get a chance …
Anyway, we definitely appreciate your comments.
-FITSNews
By Chris January 16, 2008 at 8:38 am
Not to debate foreign policy or anything, but yes, it is better than being hit by an airplane. But why is that the end-all, be-all defining moment that caused all of this? No one wants to discuss what may/may not have happened prior.
Any ideas why someone would do such a thing? I seriously doubt it’s because, “they hate us for our freedoms.” I believe it has a lot to do with poking hornet’s nests.
By American January 16, 2008 at 9:18 am
“It’s horrible, terrible, inhuman torture. I can hardly imagine worse. I’d prefer permanent damage and disability to experiencing it again. I’d give up anything, say anything, do anything.”
So it works?
And I can say that as Americans, we will do anything necessary to secure our nation from enemies foreign or domestic…..even if it means getting a burka or two wet.
By piepton January 16, 2008 at 9:41 am
Torture and killing people are both fairly inhumane but that has little to do with why we shouldn’t torture and why those tapes are important. The reason America shouldn’t torture people is because it gives our enemies moral justification to torture our soldiers when they are captured.
Are they going to torture them regardless? Probably. But if it isn’t tit for tat torture we might actually get some other people in the world to support us.
By 67chevy January 16, 2008 at 10:55 am
The world is too complicated for you, as smart of a mouth as you seem to have.
By Silence Dogood January 16, 2008 at 2:36 pm
American, you note “And I can say that as Americans, we will do anything necessary to secure our nation from enemies foreign or domestic…..even if it means getting a burka or two wet.”
From 1776 till the reasonably recently, protecting Liberty and Freedom were the first aims of our nation (otherwise, why not roll over and subject ourselves or our Constitution et cetera to any enemy that comes along?) more recently ‘security’ has been the number one aim, even at the sacrafice of things we hold dear as a nation. Might I just submit that King George the III was more than willing to protect the colonies, but we wanted more than security, we wanted freedom and liberty. A regime of torture ENSURES that innocents who are caught will be tortured the MOST (they don’t have any thing to say/offer so their “non-compliance” will reap the most and harshest torture).
Water boarding is actually a MUCH more harsh form of torture than most people realize – and frankly, if the CIA knew they did nothing wrong…why destroy the tapes?
By Harden Gervais January 16, 2008 at 5:39 pm
We actually executed a Japanese official after WWII for sanctioning waterboarding. At the time, it was considered a crime against humanity. Good to know that standards are changing these days. Just goes to show how little conservatives care about “life” once someone actually exits the womb.