Michigan Is Retarded

By fitsnews • on January 16, 2008

EXCEPT MAYBE FOR EMINEM

FITSNews – January 16, 2008 – We’ve never actually referred to an entire state as retarded, and inÂ all fairnessÂ that’s not entirely the case. It’s just the 39% of Republican primary voters who bought the bullsh*t that former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney has been selling them over the past few days.Â Of course, 100% of the Michigan marching band is retarded (and our guess is not all of them voted for Romney) so it could be that the whole state is retarded after all.

But then there’s Eminem, who proved not once, not twice, but three times that white boys can win downtown Detroit rap battles.

There’s also Magglio OrdÃ³Ã±ez, who may not be from Michigan, but plays baseball there. Really, really well, in fact. Hopefully Romney won’t deport him back to Venezuela, because we’d really like him on our fantasy baseball team again next year.

Anyway, it’s probably a good thing that Romney won Michigan last night because spending all that money, switching all those positions and attacking everybody 24/7 with absolutely nothing to show for it would have been pretty damn embarassing.

Comments

By New York Voter on January 16th, 2008 at 3:47 am

The Michigan primary has been the closest yet to represent America as a whole. Hard working Americans compromise that state and I think that they chose the best GOP candidate. Romney has been called a “flip-flopper” but when you actually look at the facts — he is the only candidate that has stayed firm and steadfast to GOP principles. He has stayed with one wife, has lowered taxes, and flipped to maintain pro-life voting in MA. Critics can attack as much as they want, but I suggest they get their facts straight. Mitt has gained my vote when the New York vote arrives.

By sic is a dumbass on January 16th, 2008 at 8:32 am

Dumbass,

what would you rather have? someone who changed (to the right side like Reagan and Bush 41 did) or some Gomer Pyle as the Republican nominee. Would you rather have a 71 year old amnesty supporting, gay loving, first amendment communist running against Hillary.

I would rather have a business man, who is conservative on the life issue (yes he changed his stance, but to the good side) who has not raised taxes as my nominee.

If there is anyone who is retarded on this issue it would be you.

By Mattheus Mei on January 16th, 2008 at 9:03 am

“Would you rather have a 71 year old amnesty supporting, gay loving, first amendment communist running against Hillary”

Well if that isn’t a class 1 insult I don’t know what is! Seriously though what’s so wrong with being supportive of immigration reform, gay rights, and the essential liberties of the 1st amendment? Communist eh? Well some one sounds like a Fascist…

I aggree with you Sic, granted I’m a liberal and probably won’t vote for a republican’t (which will do me a hill of BEANS in SC) in the general election but Mitt Romney! Puh-leez. I stand by my earlier statement the man is a Robot, and at that one who’s got his wires crossed when it comes to politics and prostitution…

Maybe Mitt much like Gay Robot had a wine cooler spilt on him that burned his circuits.

I wonder how many times I can type Gay to piss of the Fascist who commented above. Gay, GAY, gay, gay GAY, GaY!

By About the Pimp on January 16th, 2008 at 9:06 am

Romney is a politico giggolo. His pillow-talk morphs with whatever voter he’s trying to coo at the moment. And, why should anyone assume that a successful businessman translates into a successful president? That’s really lame logic.