Michigan Is Retarded
EXCEPT MAYBE FOR EMINEM
FITSNews – January 16, 2008 – We’ve never actually referred to an entire state as retarded, and in all fairness that’s not entirely the case. It’s just the 39% of Republican primary voters who bought the bullsh*t that former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney has been selling them over the past few days. Of course, 100% of the Michigan marching band is retarded (and our guess is not all of them voted for Romney) so it could be that the whole state is retarded after all.
There’s also Magglio Ordonez, who may not be from Michigan, but plays baseball there. Really, really well, in fact. Hopefully Romney won’t deport him back to Venezuela, because we’d really like him on our fantasy baseball team again next year.
Anyway, it’s probably a good thing that Romney won Michigan last night because spending all that money, switching all those positions and attacking everybody 24/7 with absolutely nothing to show for it would have been pretty damn embarrassing.