There’s A Debate Tonight? In South Carolina?
AWWWWW … TICKLE, TICKLE
FITSNews - January 10, 2008 - We’ve gotten like eleventy kabillion calls and e-mails this morning from people wanting to know whether or not we’re going to Myrtle Beach, S.C. tonight to cover the pivotomal Republican presidential debate. Apparently, the Romney and McCain campaigns are sending their respective bloggers, and people want to know if we’ll also be “live-blogdoggling” from tonight’s event.
Considering that the only interesting thing to happen at the last SC presidential debate was a huge brou-ha-ha over seating assignments among our thin-skinned local politicians, the answer is a definitive “no,” people. Of course these debate site photos of presidential wanna-be sandcastles sure do seem to be attracting a happening crowd! And we hate to miss a good sand castle!
Anyway, we’re gonna go out on a limb and predict that tonight’s debate will go a little something like this:
MODERATOR: We’re here to talk about illegal immigration, people. Governor Mitt Romney, you’re up first. Can you tell us where you stand on this important issue?
MITT ROMNEY: I hate illegal immigration but the rest of these clowns love it. In fact, illegal immigration is John McCain’s girlfriend.
JOHN McCAIN: That’s a lie. Illegal immigration Mike Huckabee’s girlfriend.
MIKE HUCKABEE: No it’s not. Jesus Christ is my Lord and girlfriend. Just ask Chuck Norris.
RUDY GUILIANI: Jesus, what a bunch of early-state panderers you guys are. I can’t wait to kick all of your asses on Super Tuesday.
FRED THOMPSON: You’re not kickin’ anybody’s ass, buddy. That’s because I am (yawning) truly the only true choice for (yawns again) true conservatives. Plus my wife Jeri is hot. Hey baby!
RON PAUL: The molecular composition of this entire debate offends me. Google Ron Paul to find out why. In fact I was collecting my thoughts a moment ago and …
MODERATOR: Alright, that’s enough for now candidates. Actually on second thought, let’s talk about illegal immigration for another fifty-five minutes …
We hate to miss such stirring political theater, but lamentably Thursday night is reserved for staring out the window at passing traffic.
Oh, our founding editor Sic Willie will definitely be in Myrtle Beach tonight, but our bet is you’ll probably find him at Derriere’s Gentleman’s Club … because “all-nude” is just how he rolls …
Comments
By Inquiring Space Aliens pending an endorsement on January 10th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Myrtle Beach, that’s actually South Canada, whihc may explain why Ambassador Wilkins is in state with a few Canadian dignitaries…
Uh Wil, is lithium boy reporting from Offshore Drilling Company for teh Cabin Klan?
By Snead on January 10th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Why can’t they have this at South of the Border? What better place to talk immigration and taxes than a Mexican-themed tourist trap where you have to pay per square of toilet paper.
By truthseeker on January 10th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Hopefully, tonight McCain will announce our planned invasion of Iran and Pakistan - and Romney can follow- up with his plans for building 20 more Guantanamo’s to hold all the terrorists .
Then they can spin right in to illegal immigration and McCain’s plan to give all illegals citizenship provided they go fight in Iran and Pakistan to protect our freedom and to secure next year’s oil supply.
Soon after that, Huckabee can do a touchy feely pray for everyone, shoot off a couple of quickie one liners - and it all can be over in like 10 minutes.
By Bocephus on January 10th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
I miss Bob Dole.
By Palmetto Mouse Jockey on January 10th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Sorry. I don’t do hand shows.
By sweatin to the oldies on January 10th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
so will you were not invited?
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