Friggin’ Oil, Etc.

CRUDE? AT $100 A BARREL, YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT’S CRUDE, PEOPLE

FITSNews – January 3, 2008 – While all the would-be leaders of the free world are busy sucking up to voters in Iowa, those crazy people who hate us just raised oil prices to over $100 a barrel for the first time ever. Actually, it may not entirely be the Arabs’ fault this time because as it turns out the U.S. Dollar is pretty much getting its ass kicked these days by everybody else’s money. Even Monopoly money.

Still, these outrageous prices seem as good an excuse as any for America to blow something up or start drilling holes in a pristine natural environment.

HE’S BAAAACK – We’d like to welcome Aiken Senator Greg Ryberg to our radar screen again after nearly a year of letting him ice his balls from the last time we took his arrogant, Yankee ass to the woodshed. We like Ryberg’s voting record just fine, but other than that we’d appreciate it if he just shut his face for a change. This time, Ryberg is grandstanding about how somebody tried to bribe him or something, which in South Carolina politics is about as surprising as the sun coming up each morning. Do us all a favor and “stick it” yourself, Greg.

HURRY UP AND RETIRE, ALREADY – We’re not defending payday lenders or anything, but Spartanburg Ambulance Chaser Senator John Hawkins is starting to get on our last nerve with his wallet-padding legal jihad against the industry. Aside from Hawkins’ obvious conflict of interest (he’s suing the same people he’s attempting to regulate as a legislator), the Upstate “Republican” is basically using his last few months in office to do some high-profile jury shopping, leveraging his bully pulpit to try and turn the opinion of thousands of prospective jurors in the few months he has left in Columbia.

Don’t be surprised if this blowhard beats the anti-payday lending drum all year in 2008. After all, he’s got bills to pay come June when his Senatorial gravy train runs out. No free reception food for you!

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