What’s Up With South Carolina’s Budget?

JUST HOW BAD IS THE SKY FALLING?

FITSNews - December 20, 2007 - Back in October, South Carolina’s Board of Economic Advisors predicted a $430 million budget shortfall for the coming fiscal year (2008-09). Then last month, they proceeded to drastically reduce that estimate, presumably based on Chairman John Rainey’s ouija board. Now, according to a confidential S.C. Budget & Control Board report obtained exclusively by FITSNews, we have an entirely new set of projected numbers to chew on:

FY 2007-08: $21.2 million deficit
FY 2008-09: $286.3 million deficit
FY 2009-10: $53.4 million deficit
FY 2010-11: $84.1 million surplus

How did we get these numbers? We’d rather not get into the specifics, but let’s just say Sic Willie’s dark brown eyes are limitless reservoirs of passionate irresistibility, people. That, and there may have been a little MacGyver-style breaking and entering involved.

Anyway, the basic point we’re trying to make is that you could blindfold a chimpanzee, shoot it up with enough heroin to give Keith Richards a buzz, point it at a dartboard and probably get more reliable budget estimates than the numbers released by the ass-clowns who run our state government.

In fact this super-secret 3-year budget projection could be 100 years old, for all we know.

Comments

By Palmetto Pulse on December 20th, 2007 at 10:35 am

Hey Will….my friend and I would like a definition for the word “ass-clown”. WAIT! Nevermind, the urban dictionary helped us out….

1. Ass clown

ass clown (ás kloun) n.:

one, who, through the fault of his parents conception, is a skid mark in society’s collective underwear.

WOW!

By Harden Gervais on December 22nd, 2007 at 3:26 am

Confidential B&CB report – that couldn’t have been leaked by the governor, could it? Nah. ‘Cause you have such great ethics.