Maxim’s List Sucks

“HAYDEN PANTYWHATEVER” TURNING 18 IS NOT THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO MEN THIS YEAR

FITSNews – December 17, 2007 - We just finished reading Maxim Magazine’s 10 Best and Worst Things To Happen To Men in 2007 list, and we hate to say it but their list pretty much sucks. Not only did they forget to bring the funny, but their judgment is highly-questionable, people. For example, the Van Halen reunion was No. 3 on the “best list,” if that tells you anything.

Anyway, according to Maxim, the No. 1 thing that happened to men in 2007 was Hayden Panettiere turning 18 years old, which was probably the biggest letdown since the second half of the 2007 University of South Carolina football season.

We’ve never watched Hayden Pantywhatever’s little show on NBC, but she’s always seemed like one of those chicks who is only attractive because she’s blonde. She also strikes us as the kind of girlfriend who would put all sorts of ridiculous rules on a relationship (like Sic Willie would only get to play one hour of X-Box, every other day, for example, and X-box would be completely banned on the weekends because that’s supposed to be “Hayden time”). She also probably obsesses over putting all the f*cking throw pillows back on the bed (at perfect right angles) each morning and makes a big deal about her man missing a spot or two when he’s painting the ceiling, which is something we’ve never understood the utility of to begin with. Ceilings are for mirrors, people. Everybody knows that.

Frankly, we think the best thing that happened to men this year was our eternal cover girl Rachel McAdams splitting up with Ryan Gosling … who as fate would have it is currently dating Hayden Pantywhatever. Hey Ryan, you missed a spot!

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