Sic’s Got Kristin Davis Abs

Sic’s Got Kristin Davis Abs December 14, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in : Pop Culture, Satire , trackback

AND BETTE DAVIS EYES, TOO

FITSNews - December 14, 2007 - Other than mind-numbing crap about the 2008 presidential elections, the most common questions Sic Willie gets these days revolve around how he can wolf down 20 chicken wings and two large six-topping pizzas a day and still maintain abs that could stop a freight train. Seriously, people, you could iron your blouses on that washboard.

Anyway, as near as we can tell Sic’s secret is lots and lots of kinky sex with fellow South Carolinian (and Sex And The Old People star) Kristin Davis, because how else could she possibly have abs (above) that rival his in terms of their sheer emotive appeal?

Davis is frankly the only Sex girl that still floats our boat, except maybe for that gay guy Stanford Blatch, who is just so awesome on so many levels (each of them cuddly and adorable, people). The other chicks do absolutely nothing for us. In fact, they remind us of retired Navy battleships. Or any one of the dust-covered doilies currently residing in our crawlspace. So needless to say, the fact that one Sex and the City movie we weren’t going to go see has apparently morphed into three Sex and the City movies that we’re not going go to see (yes, it’s true) has forced us to find something capable of salvaging the dignity of this once-proud franchise.

And so we present you with Kristin Davis’ abs … and her secret lover Sic Willie, the secret to their age-defying success.