Mentally-Disturbed Man Invades Hillary’s Campaign Office

will crossfire

NO, NO, NO … IT WASN’T SIC WILLIE

FITSNews – December 1, 2007 – We’re gonna be perfectly honest. When the FITS gals got the SCHotline newsflash that a mentally-disturbed man with a history of drug and alcohol abuse had invaded Hillary Clinton’s campaign headquarters in New Hampshire (taking hostages and demanding cigarattes and booze), we were 99.9% sure it was Sic Willie. And that his obsession with Clinton’s hottie aide had finally reached its breaking point.

Fortunately, as we flew down the winding corridors of FITSNews headquarters in a desperate search for our favorite bad boy, we heard the tell-tale crooning of Biz Markie‘s classic 1989 hit “Just A Friend” coming from our executive washroom.

“Awww baby you … you got what I need, but you say he’s just a friend, you say he’s just a friend. Awwwww baby yoooooouuuu …”

Of course, no sooner had the off-key, eardrum-arresting sounds struck us than our nostrils were similarly offended by sensory unpleasantness, as Sic himself emerged in the hallway and announced “don’t nobody go in the bathroom for another thirty-five, forty-five minutes.”

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Comments

  1. By Ice Cube December 1, 2007 at 5:32 pm

    Sic its “thirty-five forty-five minutes.”

    Reply

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