Junior League Love

SIC WILLIE MAKES QUITE AN IMPRESSION ON THE LADIES

FITSNews – November 29, 2007 – Two years ago, our very own Sic Willie wandered unshowered, unshaven and sporting a late ’80’s Soundgarden album cover T-Shirt into the annual Junior League Something-Or-Other Holiday Party. In his defense, he was wearing a sportscoat on top of the T-Shirt, but let’s just say it wasn’t exactly the sort of fiesta where thrift-store threads worn for days on end by a chain-smoking alcoholic were necessarily in demand.

Of course, that was before Sic shed his ripe Houndstooth winterwear and mozied his happy ass on over to the dance floor, which is where the magic always begins. Needless to say, a few hours later the Pimpfiniti left the premises with not one but TWO lovely ladies in tow. Amazingly, neither of them were wearing pearls, pregnant (yet) or habitual Talbot’s shoppers. Alright, one of them was a Talbot’s shopper.

Unfortunately, Sic had to decline his engraved invitation to return to the annual bash this year the due to the fact that a good 93% of local Junior Leaguers are simply unable to keep their repressed sexuality bottled up when his pelvis-thrusting skills are on display on the dance floor. Which is a recipe for trouble, especially considering Sic’s Facebook page clearly states that he is “in a relationship.” Well, that and the fact a lot of these gals’ husbands are gun-totin’ rednecks who enjoy huntin’ varmints.

At any rate, we’re sure there were several pre-boutique store mocha-estrogen fests this morning that were a little less interesting because of his absence …

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