We Shopped, Sic Dropped
ADVENTURES IN MALL-HOPPING
FITSNews – November 24, 2007 – It took a lot of meth, lunch at Hooters’ and a steady diet of blended venti mocha frappucinos, but Sic Willie actually survived yesterday’s sixteen-hour shopping marathon with the FITS gals‘ personal shoppers (above).
Even more amazingly, he only got thrown out of six stores, although we felt that tossing him from Victoria’s Secret for pointing out a mannequin’s camel-toe was a bit heavy-handed. Of course the girl he goosed at Aéropostale was definitely NOT fifteen (and they let him stay), so it probably all evens out.
Anyway, from the Village at Sandhill to the shops of Five Points, from the thrift stores on Two Notch to the mall at Columbiana, from Columbia Place to the boutiques of Devine Street, Sic covered hundreds of thousands of square feet of retail space yesterday, taking in all the sights, sounds and snarling traffic of the day after Thanksgiving.
Sadly, we were never able to find the Emily The Tank Engine toy he so desperately wanted (something about lead paint and China), but they say that letting babies cry themselves to sleep every once in awhile builds character …
Comments
By Believe It Not on November 25th, 2007 at 11:53 am
More likely, sic(k) willie was shopping alone at some adult novelty store on Two Notch Road late Friday night after being shot down by a dozen or more Carolina coeds who have too much class to be seen with him.
By BIN is special on November 25th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
BIN-
Don’t forget the short bus comes sharply at 6:30 a.m. to take you to your favorite special public school.
-Believes In Nothing
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