Nicole Ritchie Is Off-Balance

ADVENTURES IN GRAVITY ACCOMPANY PRENATAL COMPLAINING

FITSNews - November 9, 2007 - We’re gonna go out on a limb here and say that when you weigh as much as a fetus, it’s probably not a good idea to try and carry one around in your stomach for nine months. Unless of course you’re an ant and can carry like nine times your own weight, in which case more power to you. Anyway, color us un-surprised that a source close to Nicole Richie told the website Gossip Girls that the famous popslut - whom Brandon over at WWTDD lovingly calls “The Chupacabra” - is sick of being pregnant:

Nicole feels like she’s been pregnant for years, not months … She’s being very careless. She just doesn’t want to be pregnant anymore. She’s tired of it. The thrill has definitely worn off.

It’s important to stop here for a moment and consider how insensitive this fetus really is. After all, it’s basically just hogging nutrients while at the same time putting a real crimp in Nicole’s nightlife. Seriously, what a jerk.