We Almost Got “The List”

SIC WILLIE SNEAKS UP ON SUPER-SECRET MEETING ON WHO’S BEEN NAUGHTY AND NICE

FITSNews – October 24, 2007 – Anybody who knows Sic Willie will tell you he’s not in the habit of wearing Brooks Brothers suits and hanging around in swanky, upscale restaurants. Frankly, he dresses like a damn hobo and considers Lizard’s Thicket to be fine dining … which of course it is.

Anyway, an uncharacteristically dapper (and clean-shaven) Sic used his BB camouflage to sneak up on a prominent Palmetto politico last night, one who was obviously in the middle of discussing the tightly-held list of South Carolina GOP legislators who are being targeted for defeat by conservative forces in the June 2008 elections.

Accompanied by a gentleman we’ve never seen before, the S.C. politico was reading from a list of state legislators which his companion was dutifully transcribing onto a cocktail napkin. Sic’s surprise appearance brought a screeching halt to the conversation, however, as the incriminating documents were quickly shoved into pockets and an awkward “almost introduction” ensued.

“As I live and breathe Will Folks!” the unidentified gentleman said, grinning politely but not offering his name. “Get this man a drink on my tab.”

Excusing himself abruptly, the man left the bar and never returned.

“Did I scare him off?” Sic asked several minutes later, sipping a free orange juice and Sprite drink (editor’s note: orange juice and Sprite drinks are always free at bars).

Our acquaintance – who refused to let us use his name – hemmed and hawed, never revealing the name of his mystery bar partner.

All we got from him was a bunch of sly smiles and unbearably coy reminders that the gentleman was “nobody, Will,” and “just a friend of mine from D.C.”

“I heard the name Errol,” Sic inquired. “Who’s Errol?”

Again, nothing but hemming, hawing and guffawing, although Sic was eventually promised an exclusive copy of the genuine legislative target list, “eventually.”

We’ve been down this road before, having already been leaked several different versions of “the list” in the past few weeks, but these two gentlemen were clearly going through a printed copy of House and Senate roll call votes, with one of them (who would know who’s on the real list) reading names off and the other (the “friend from D.C.”) taking them down on a napkin.

Ever his annoyingly deliberate self, Sic rattled off dozens of names that he thought could (and should) be on the list, and watched with enjoyment as his acquaintance tried to ignore the repeated cell phone calls that were visibly blowing up his suit pocket.

“You’re not going to answer that?” Sic asked with a wink.

Look, people, one way or another we’re going to get that list. And we’re going to be the first news outlet in the state to publish it, whether all these super-secret activists and their stealth “D.C. friends” like it or not.

We’re like LT2, baby. You can’t stop us, you can only hope to contain us …