A Clever Little Ploy
REESE AND JAKE AREN’T FOOLING ANYBODY
FITSNews – October 24, 2007 – You know, we’re one less-than-satisfying mocha away from removing Reese Witherspoon from our “About Us” page. Seriously, people, it’s obvious she moved to South Carolina just to get close to Sic Willie, but for some reason she couldn’t handle his on-again, off-again Rachel McAdams thing. Then came Sic’s strange Maggie Gyllenhaal fetish, which has clearly pushed her over the edge. How do we know? Because Witherspoon is now officially “dating” Gyllenhaal’s brother, Jake, who is, um, how do we put this … gay. Or as Tyler Durden says, “super super gay.”
From some British paper we learn:
The pair met on set of the upcoming movie ‘Rendition’ and have now taken their romance public – they were spotted holding hands and canoodling during a romantic trip to Rome. Witherspoon, 31, whose divorce from former husband Ryan Phillippe was finalized this month, had previously denied a romance with the Brokeback Mountain star. The pair first began dating around March (of) this year, although they were careful to avoid being photographed together.
Clearly the takeaway from this story is that Sic Willie is an enchanting devil who will drive world famous actresses to elaborate ends in a futile effort to conceal their insatiable lust for his body and near-chemical dependence on his emotional availability. That, and the fact that Jake Gyllenhaal is gay. Canoodling? Canoodling! Say no more …
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