Why Is Ellen Crying?

DOGGIE DUST-UP BRINGS OUT THE BABY IN DEGENERES

FITSNews – October 17, 2007 – As hardcore animal adoption advocates ourselves (not to mention famous lesbians), we were a little befuddled by the recent Ellen DeGeneres’ tearfest over a doggie adoption gone horribly wrong.

Apparently, Ellen gave her adopted dog “Iggy” to the family of one of her hairdressers after the dog couldn’t get along with the 50,000 cats that reside with DeGeneres and her girlfriend Portia de Rossi. Which was a big “no-no,” seeing as DeGeneres signed some piece of paper saying she wouldn’t part with the dog unless she was returning it to the adoption agency, “Mutts & Moms.” Hence this sobfest.

Look, there’s really no point to being rich and famous unless you’re going to abuse it … repeatedly. Sort of like in the film Groundhog Day when Phil Connors demands to know whether or not the phone company has a special line reserved for “celebrities in emergencies.”

We’re not exactly sure how much money Ellen DeGeneres has, but it’s probably pretty close to eleventy kabillion dollars. Which means ordinary people shouldn’t even be a speed bump for her, let alone make her cry on national TV. Man up, Ellen.