SEX TAPE VETERANS PAM ANDERSON, RICK SALOMON GET HITCHED IN VEGAS
FITSNews – October 7, 2007 – If you’ve never heard of Rick Salomon before, he’s the GQ-looking dude in the white bathrobe filming Paris Hilton as she prepares to have unprotected sex with him in the 2004 porn classic “1 Night in Paris.” Amazingly, four years later Salomon’s penis hasn’t fallen off and he hasn’t died of anything, meaning he’s probably worth considering for some secret military cloning experiment or something. Anyway, the point of all this is that Salomon got married to blonde boobshell Pam Anderson (a two-time sex tape veteran herself) over the weekend. From the TMZ story:
The two were married at the Mirage Hotel in a ceremony attended by Anderson’s kids, as well as celeb friends Tobey Maguire and Lukas Haas, reports People. Pammy did the deed in a denim Valentino dress.
First of all, Pammy didn’t wear white? WTF? Second, Lukas Haas isn’t a celebrity, people. He’s a very large pair of ears attached to a very small body. Which means he’s either an alien or a government listening device, which in turn means Tobey Maguire was the only real celebrity to attend the Salomon-Anderson nuptials. And now that we think about it, this has to be the loosest usage of the term “nuptials” in history. Seriously, if these two aren’t taping each other having sex right now and selling it on the Internet within three months, the world could very well stop spinning on its axis.