Elizabeth Edwards Is Kind Of A Bad Ass September 25, 2007
Posted by fitsnews in : Presidential Politics , 1 comment so far
WIFE OF DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE MIXES IT UP WITH HILLARY
FITSNews - September 25, 2007 - Don’t get us wrong, we still think John Edwards is an insensitive prick and we wouldn’t vote for him if he were on fire … errr, something like that … but damn if his wife Elizabeth didn’t earn some major props today by calling out Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton. In a refreshingly frank interview with the New York Daily News, Mrs. Edwards offered a series of remarkably effective shots aimed at the former First Lady’s supposed abandonment of universal health care reform:
“(Universal health care) failed when the Clinton administration pulled this, when they said, ‘We’re not going to use any more political capital on this, on the fight for universal health care.’ And that’s an important part that Sen. Clinton leaves out … They lost the fight in 1993, pulled it out because they wanted to use their political capital to get NAFTA passed as opposed to universal health care in ‘94 … She’s wrong on how it is we get universal health care - and her own experience should have taught her that …”
Well damn … Mrs. Edwards went on to imply that Hillary couldn’t win a general election, saying that “this primary season is not about Feb. 5. This primary season is about November of 2008, and we have to get a nominee who can win. That’s all.”
Pay attention, people, because this is how you talk smack in politics. First you make it about a real issue, then you speak your mind. Of course, we also believe that Edwards plan to socialize our health care system is the worst of all would-be presidential ideas currently on the table, reminding us of French economist Frederic Bastiat’s contention that “government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.” True that.
Common Sense Caucus Needs To Step It Up
Posted by fitsnews in : SC Politics , 4 comments
IF A TREE FALLS IN THE WOODS, DOES ANYBODY HEAR IT?
FITSNews - September 25, 2007 - South Carolina’s emerging “Common Sense Caucus” faces a year of decision in 2008. As a pitched battle for the heart and soul of the Republican Party wages in dozens of competitive districts outside the State House, the twenty or so fiscal conservatives working within its walls must be much more aggressive in calling out their Republican peers for the wasteful spending, non-competitive tax rate and inefficient government structure that continues to keep South Carolina at the economic and educational level of a third world country.
Many members of the Caucus have complained privately to FITSNews that they are simply outmanned within the Republican Party, that a group of fifteen or so GOP turncoats consistently vote with House Democrats, effectively making the minority the majority under the State House dome. They also argue that the emergence of a small (but growing) band of fiscal conservatives in the House has not been mirrored by a similar movement in the State Senate, whose so-called “GOP” majority includes only two or three true fiscal conservatives.
Obviously all of the above is true, and while Common Sense Caucus members are reluctant to admit it, their efforts are also routinely thwarted by big government backers in the GOP leadership such as House Ways & Means Chairman Dan Cooper, Majority Whip Annette Young and House Labor, Commerce and Industry Chairman Harry Cato. (more…)
Coincidence? September 24, 2007
Posted by fitsnews in : Good Stuff , add a comment
SIC WILLIE’S FACEBOOK TAKEOVER
FITSNews - September 24, 2007 - Two weeks after Sic Willie joined the popular social networking website Facebook for the sole purpose of gawking upapologetically at hot college chicks, it turns out the website itself is being eyed lustily by potential suitors. From the Wall Street Journal story that broke the news earlier today:
Microsoft Corp. is in talks with Facebook Inc. about making an investment in the social-networking startup that could value Facebook at $10 billion or more, according to people familiar with the matter. The talks set up another likely face off between tech titans: Google Inc. has also expressed strong interest in a possible Facebook investment, said people familiar with the matter.
People familiar with the matter also said that Sic Willie is one damn sexy beast. With buns that could poke your eye out and abs that could fry an egg. People familiar with the matter also said that his unresolved codependency issues and chronic ED are both things of the past.
Thank You, Vanessa Hudgens
Posted by fitsnews in : Pop Culture , 5 comments
FITSNEWS AT A MILLION HITS (AND COUNTING) …
FITSNews - September 24, 2007 - Nevermind that the “ass up” stuffed animal (Eeyore!) in the background of this picture looks infinitely hotter to us than Vanessa Hudgens, or that we’ve seen pet lizards crawling at us with more sex appeal than this before, or that we’ve stooped to similarly non-arousing methods as part of our shameless campaign to drive up our web traffic … none of that matters right now.
What matters is that it’s worked flawlessly … and thanks in no small part to the eighty-pound kitten pictured above, FITSNews officially recorded its one millionth hit today.
In case you were curious, our top post ever (by a landslide) was the Palmetto Power 100, a ranking of South Carolina’s most influential powerbrokers that may or may not have been composed with the aid of illegal methamphetamines. Coming in a distant second was our tribute to Obama Girl, which was followed closely by a provocative piece on how Pam Anderson’s breasts may in fact be approved floatation devices.
Anyway, we’d like to take this opportunity to recognize the seventeen of you who have visited us a couple hundred times a day over the past nine months and say ‘Thank You’ for your continued support. Because of your unhealthy obsession with our beloved Sic Willie, we’re well on our way to reaching our ultimate goal of eleventy kabillion hits!
UPDATE - We thought it would also be interesting to reveal the top ten search engine terms that brought people to FITSNews today … they are 10. “carrie underwood,” (117), 9. “Romney flip-flop,” (130), 8. “FITSNews blog,” (133), 7. “Will Folks blog,” (139), 6. “FITSNews,” (151) 5. “Vanessa Hudgens,” (211), 4. “Vanessa Hudgens nude pictures,” (214), 3. “Vanessa Hudgens in a bikini,” (236), 2. “vanessa hudgens,” (512), and 1. “FITS News,” (530).
Americans Are Such Tough Guys
Posted by fitsnews in : US Politics , 2 comments
NO LOVE FOR YOU, IRANIAN DUDE
FITSNews - September 24, 2007 - So the President of Iran is visiting New York today, and judging from all the tough talk coming from both the egghead left and the rigormortis right you’d think the guy was Satan himself. Anyway, Mahmoud Ahmanidanidingdong (editor’s note: It’s Mahmoud something) is catching all sorts of flak on his trip from, well … everybody. Here’s a nugget from the CNN story about Mahmoud’s visit to Columbia University:
Columbia University President Lee Bollinger excoriated Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on Monday, going through a long list of documented actions and remarks by the firebrand Iranian leader and his government. “Mr. President, you exhibit all the signs of a petty and cruel dictator,” Bollinger said to applause from many of the 600 people in the room for a speech from the Iranian leader. Bollinger cited the Iranian government’s “brutal crackdown” on dissidents, public executions, executions of minors and other actions.
Talk about rolling out the red carpet. Seriously, Dr. Bollinger. If this guy is such an asshole, how come he got an invitation to speak at your University?
Of course, the fact that Ahmad Jihad’s country is still on the map at all is what’s really insulting here, proving once again that Americans are “all talk, no bomb.” Forgive us for so effortlessly crystallizing our nation’s reticence in the face of an excessively-delicate 21st Century geopolitical balance, but there’s really no point in being able to blow everybody off the face of the earth like eleventy kabillion times if we don’t blow somebody off it every once in awhile.
(Fart) Knock-Knocking On Heaven’s Door …
Posted by fitsnews in : Sports , 1 comment so far
SIC WILLIE’S CREW CLINGING TO WAFER-THIN LEAD IN GREAT SANTINI CHAMPIONSHIPS
FITSNews - September 24, 2007 - With just one week left to go in the Great Santini League fantasy baseball World Series, Sic Willie’s upstart FITS Fartknockers are giving the top-seeded “Croon Crew” all they can handle in the battle for the most coveted trophy in all of sports.
After two weeks of play, Sic Willie’s squad holds a narrow 4-3-1 lead over the Crooners, enjoying commanding leads in the batting average and RBI categories and narrow leads in both home runs and stolen bases.
Veteran sports reporter Jill Arrington was granted an exclusive interview with the controversial Fartknockers’ owner and Interim Santini League Commissioner earlier today. Here are some excerpts from their conversation … (more…)
How Is This Possible?
Posted by fitsnews in : Pop Culture , 3 comments
SPORTS BRAS MUST BE STOPPED, AND WE’RE GONNA STOP ‘EM
FITSNews - September 24, 2007 - Since we’ve been tackling hot-button issues like man cleavage and the Simpson sisters lately, we figured it was our job to bring you this picture of Jessica today.
Actually, scratch that. Our real job today is going to be figuring out a way to travel back in time so that we can kill the inventors of the sports bra. It’ll be a lot like Terminator, except more heroic. And for a better cause.
Do we have the technology to do it? Probably. We’re dumb as hell here in South Carolina, but believe it or not we actually do have some time machines.
Of course to save the day, we’re going to have to defeat some incredibly diabolical (and technologically-savvy) people. Seriously, how in the hell do you take these and turn them into pancakes? It’s like they crammed the state of Texas into a phone booth. These evil, anti-miracles must stop, people. And we’re going to stop them …
