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Heidi Montag Says Fake Breasts Worth Dying For

PAY ATTENTION, TEENAGE GIRLS

FITSNews - September 28, 2007 - It’s rare for someone’s courage, humility and sacrifice to actually move us to tears, but reading Heidi Montag’s recent interview with US magazine, we couldn’t keep our emotions bottled up any longer:

Heidi on having breast surgery:
“I’ve always been very insecure about my body. My whole life, I looked at my chest and was like, OK, they’re going to grow. This is my year! And it never happened. I was less than an A-cup. I wore pushup bras, which cut into my skin. If I was with a guy and there was a girl next to me with big boobs, I would be like, Oh, my God, he’s looking at her!”

Heidi on having rhinoplasty and breast surgery:
People would say, “You have such a big nose!” And they’d make fun of me for being so flat, and say mean boy things, like, “If you nailed two nails in a board, they would be bigger than you are.” I was tormented. And when I was older, I’d want to be intimate, but I’d feel insecure. My boyfriends always had bigger chests than I did!”

Heidi on having breast surgery:
“But surgery is a very big deal. Right before I went in, I was like, What if I don’t wake up? Oh, this is scary. Then I thought, I don’t care. If I don’t wake up, it’s worth it. I just wanted it so badly.”

Wow. This chick is like Helen Keller, Anne Frank, Mother Theresa and Nellie Bly all rolled into one. Maybe even the Virgin Mary, too (editor’s note: sorry, Catholics). Seriously, if Congress doesn’t immediately create a new “nation’s highest honor” for this kind of heroism, we’re going to organize a protest march on Washington that’ll make Martin Luther King’s little get-together at the Lincoln Memorial look like a poorly-attended family picnic. Imagine it! Teenage girls all around the world are joining hands right now and singing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, “Free at last! Free at last! Thank Heidi Montag, we are free at last!”

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