What The Hell Is This?

BRITNEY BOMBS AT MTV AWARDS BUST

FITSNews – September 9, 2007 – Call us nostalgic, but the memory of Britney Spears’ open mouth kiss with Madonna at the MTV Video Music Awards four years ago is probably the only reason we watched tonight’s show. If we had known Britney herself was going to be opening the show with a comeback disaster, we’d have probably watched something else. Like “Deep Water Whale Tales” or something.

We’ve never been in deep water, so we have no idea what a drunk, retarded, bikini-clad Blue Whale that can’t dance or lip-sync looks like, but our guess is that Britney just saved us a lot of money on scuba gear and underwater video equipment.

Seriously, after watching this “performance” we’re probably going to have to enter into relationship counseling with our television or something. All of a sudden there are some serious unresolved trust issues as to why it would intentionally want to hurt us this way. We had dreams of Gwen Stefani making out with Rihanna, people. If we had wanted to see fat, dumb, uncoordinated rednecks grinding all over each other, we would have gone to the Clemson game this weekend.

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