Boom, Like That
TEIXEIRA LEADS FARTKNOCKERS’ SURGE INTO FANTASY PLAYOFFS
FITSNews – August 20, 2007 – For the second night in a row, FITS Fartknockers‘ first baseman Mark Teixeira blasted two home runs in a game, giving him nine bombs in just eighteen games since owner Sic Willie engineered a blockbuster trade to acquire him a little over a month ago.
Currently, the Fartknockers are in third place in the Great Santini League standings, making them a virtual lock to reach the playoffs for the second year in a row.
“We’re pleased,” Sic Willie said. “It’s our nature to be pleased. We set out to be a playoff-caliber team and we’ve done that. Now we need to take the next step in the evolution of this franchise.”
Teixeira belted his two three-run homers tonight against the Cincinnati Reds, less than 24 hours after connecting for two homers and four RBI’s against John McCain’s beloved Arizona Diamondbacks.
Comments
By Fusion on August 21st, 2007 at 7:58 am
You’re welcome.
By RotoMan on August 21st, 2007 at 11:47 am
Kudos to the Fartknockers on the foresight of picking up Teixeira (and accomplishing the more difficult task of spelling his name correctly. So much for the “i before e” rule.) Plus, I guess you can call him Marky, which fits in nicely (no pun intended) with Miggy, Mookie, and Melky.
That said, my long-standing religious and moral objections against the entire Santini League still hold: dual-league, drafted, roto operations are for heathens and sissies. Real men have single-league auctions, with keepers and minor leaguers and FAAB. League champions are celebrated as the finest amongst men; odes are written to them; they are lavished with smooches from teams of virgins. Losers are publicly ridiculed, mildly beaten, then taken out back and shot.
That, my friends, is fantasy baseball. Who’s in for next year?
PS: All of that being said, one of the best times I ever had in roto was they year I participated in the “Cecil Fielder League.” Scoring was unique: HR+K-SB. Good stuff.
By RotoMan on August 21st, 2007 at 11:47 am
PPS:
Oh, except for Cal, who is a minor deity.