Take That, Porker

By fitsnews • on July 31, 2007

ted stevens

REPUBLICANS BIGGEST SPENDER UNDER INVESTIGATION BY FBI, IRS

FITSNews - July 31, 2007 - If there were ever a politician who embodied everything that’s wrong with the Republican Party, it’s Alaska’s Ted Stevens. The undisputed “King of Pork” in Washington D.C. has steered billions of tax dollars to his native Alaska (which is home to about four people) while simultaneously blocking every attempt to reform the culture of spending abuse in our nation’s capital. Who could forget the hissy fit Stevens threw in the wake of the Hurricane Katrina disaster - when in the face of a national emergency he threatened to resign from the Senate if one dollar of Alaskan pork went to aid in the Gulf Coast recovery effort?

Now we learn that Stevens, who has long been rumored to have used the public trust to pad his personal bank account, has had his home searched by FBI and IRS agents. Not surprisingly, the search is tied to a corruption probe involving a big oil corporation and its high-powered lobbyists, some of whom have already pled guilty to bribing other elected officials (editor’s note: a Democratic wet dream).

As mush as we hate to say it (okay, we really don’t mind saying it), the prospect of Stevens’ downfall is some of the best news we’ve heard all year. He’s the poster boy for the Republican excess that grew our national debt by $3 trillion over the past six years, not to mention the guy who has systematically shut down all efforts to put that colossal expansion of new spending under the public microscope. So while we’re not sure what the FBI and IRS agents found in Stevens’ nightstand, we’re rooting for bunch of incriminating documents that will ultimately force his resignation … and maybe some Astroglide, just for sh*ts and giggles.

Comments

By *jcg on July 31st, 2007 at 8:05 am

i’m diggin’ the penguins on the turtleneck. awesome.

By Nate on July 31st, 2007 at 8:08 am

Nice

By Joshua on July 31st, 2007 at 9:00 am

The undisputed King of Pork, Father of the “Bridge to Nowhere”, this just couldn’t happen to a more deserving individual. Best for the country would be his immediate resignation and replacement.

Good Riddance…

By Reader from Greenville on July 31st, 2007 at 10:20 am

This is heartening news for supporters of Senator DeMint and other fiscal conservatives in the Senate. Hmmmm, maybe Trent Lott will be next…

By Laurin Manning on July 31st, 2007 at 5:51 pm

i want a turtleneck with puffins on it.

By schotline on July 31st, 2007 at 8:47 pm

I thought that might be a new fangled ascot…js

By Laurin Manning on August 1st, 2007 at 11:24 am

lol, sewell!

By Sheree on August 1st, 2007 at 3:10 pm

Okay, I am out of touch with reality at the moment–so what the heck is a ‘puffin’?????

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