Spark Up With 2008 Candidate Lighters

candidate lighters

GOD BLESS RURAL SOUTH CAROLINA, PEOPLE

FITSNews – July 20, 2007 – We’re just pulling away from Hartsville, S.C. right now, which you’d think would put us miles away from all the sparks associated with the 2008 presidential primaries … to say nothing of human beings who can walk upright.

Yet to our surprise, sitting on the counter at a Hartsville-area convenience station was a display of “2008 candidate lighters” (above) urging voters to “choose your lighter for the next four years.” Featuring (as near as we can tell, anyway) Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, Rudy Giuliani, John McCain and Barack Obama, we decided to scoop up one of each just to be on the safe side.

According to Thelma the cashier, the lighters are wildly popular and the store has already gone through two boxes of them. Unfortunately, the lighters bearing former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney‘s likeness had to be discontinued after dozens of customers complaints. “The Romney ones would light up one day, then not light up the next,” Thelma told us. “It was crazy. It was like they couldn’t decide whether they were pro-light or not.” Hmmmm …

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Comments

  1. By alyce July 20, 2007 at 1:31 pm

    Thanks for sharing. Cute exit line.

    Reply

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