The Lindsay Lohan Sobriety Poll
DEMOCRACY IN ACTION, PEOPLE
FITSNews – July 18, 2007 – Forget the presidential primaries, this morning’s hottest poll is all about Lindsay Lohan. After a 45-day stint at Promises rehab, Lohan’s ability to stay sober is the subject of an US Magazine online survey. As of 10:30 a.m. this morning, 77% of respondants said the 21-year-old popslut would NOT be able to kick her addiction to alcohol and drugs, while the remaining 23% (who were probably high on alcohol and drugs when they voted) said Lindsay would stay sober.
Should anyone doubt the human capacity for optimism, this is pretty indisputable evidence. Betting that Lindsay Lohan will stay sober is a lot like betting that a three-legged mule named “Mozey McSlowpoke” will win next year’s horseracing triple crown. Except a lot riskier. In fact, we’re pretty sure taking cash bets on this would be perfectly legal in all 50 states since it has to be a “game of chance” to be considered “betting.”
After all, they don’t call it a “relapse” when the tide goes out, they call it the “tide going out.”
Comments
By Dave VanHinkel on July 18th, 2007 at 10:03 am
Now you did it. Lindsay Lohan bashing?
Shame on all of you.
Leave Lindsay alohan!
By Vouchers Stink on July 18th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
Pathetic. This “scoop” is no better than Sic Willie saying a Midlands elected official has a “Strom problem.”
What Will doesn’t want you to know is that his own drug problem is worse than Lindsey Lohan’s. It’s pretty sad.
Just ask his ex-girlfriend who he beat up shortly before the governor fired him.
Don’t forget his lack of credibility here and on his other silly blog idontbeleivethestate.
Credible?? Nope.
By FITSNews on July 18th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
VS,
It’s LindsAy Lohan.
-FITSNews
By Reader from Greenville on July 18th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
It’s interesting that “Vouchers Stink” didn’t explain why vouchers were bad, but instead went nuts over a post clearly meant to be humorous. Somebody’s either had too much coffee this morning or forgot to refill the Zoloft prescription.
By Reefer on July 18th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
He beat her up? That’s some amazing spin there.
I thought all that happened was that the door opened, pushing her to the floor?
Now, if you wanna see beat up, just ask OJ. After all, look what the real killer did to his ex-wife.
By Reefer on July 18th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
By the way, did anyone note how Ashley Smith, then a lobbyist for SCRG, the big religious-right group, was then shacking up with her boyfriend?
Not that I’m judging her (heck, living with her is far smarter than marrying that arrogant ditz), but wasn’t that a bit hypocritical on their part, or maybe SCRG, or both?
By FITSNews on July 18th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Reefer,
Come on, now … we’re all nineties girls here.
-FITSNews
By sic haters on July 18th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
reefer- he kicked in the door and then beat her up. you have either been smoking too much of your product or are another one of the sicwilliephants!
By Move On on July 18th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
What does Ashley Smith have to do with this post? She is not arrogant or a ditz. She has nothing to do with Will or his blog(s), so untrue comments about her are unfair. It was two years ago and I think it is time to move on.
By Will Sucks on July 18th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
Even drunk Lindsey has too much class for will.
Here’s will’s kind of woman…
http://www.strippersnyc.com/images/tiny.jpg
By Will Sucks on July 18th, 2007 at 4:38 pm
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. But use some of your creativity and make up your own screen names. :)
By Will Sucks on July 18th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
Lindsay is not will’s type. Here’s a picture of his kind of woman:
http://www.strippersnyc.com/images/tiny.jpg
By Reefer on July 18th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
Move on, I agree. Let’s move on, but please, tell whoever is flooding this site with all this crap to do likewise.
By Nate on July 18th, 2007 at 9:00 pm
WS, VS, SH (all the same), you must be a scorned lover…bfd, who cares? This is a blog, don’t take life so seriously…I will say this though, your drama sure does make Will’s blog even juicier to read!