Louisiana Senator Fortunate To Still Have Penis

VITTER’S WIFE YET TO MAKE GOOD ON BOBBITT THREAT

FITSNews – July 10, 2007 – The luckiest man in Washington D.C. right now is Louisiana Senator David Vitter. Sure, he got busted for being on the client list of the notorious D.C. Madam, but as of now his wife Wendy hasn’t made good on her threat to chop off his “you know what.” In this morning’s Politico story about Vitter’s revelation, reporter Carrie Budoff uncovered the following quote from Wendy Vitter about what would she would do to her husband in the event he ever strayed:

“I’m a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary,” Wendy Vitter told Newhouse News. “If he does something like that, I’m walking away with one thing, and it’s not alimony, trust me. I think fear is a very good motivating factor in a marriage. Don’t put fear down.”

Uhhhh … our recommendation to Sen. Vitter is to stay out of the kitchen for the next 50 years. And if he wants a salad, he better chop his own tomatoes. Of course it turns out Mrs. Vitter is absolutely correct. According to a recently-released poll of penises, 100% of them said they wanted to avoid getting chopped off with a butcher knife.