Brittany Murphy’s Husband Needs A Bro

SOME CASH WOULD HELP, TOO …

FITSNews - June 28, 2007 - Our heroes over at WWTDD have the scoop on the latest craziness to befall one of our favorite celebrities of all time, “Clueless” star Brittany Murphy. In another case of life imitating art, Murphy has apparently been duped by Simon Monjack - her sexy beast of a husband - into paying ransom money to free him from captivity after he was allegedly kidnapped by a mysterious Hollywood powerbroker. Of course, he wasn’t really kidnapped or in captivity, the British freeloader was in jail for overstaying his visa (and you thought we didn’t enforce immigration laws, people).

Murphy is telling friends that she is being stalked by a powerful Hollywood figure and this mystery man may have even kidnapped Monjack for 10 days back in April. Murphy eventually had to pay a ransom for Monjack’s return, although it’s not clear who she paid the money too, because the time that Monjack was allegedly being kidnapped coincides with the 10 days he was in jail for overstaying his visa.

Brittany Murphy is one of the sexiest people on the planet. Her husband, on the other hand, appears to be a fat, pathological liar who owes a lot of people money and is desperate need of a Man-bra. He also wears pink and is British.

Comments

By Newspaper Hack on June 30th, 2007 at 1:20 am

A bit about the pink – every frat guy that was shilling for the GOP at the Carolina-Georgia game last year had pink shirts on. And, thanks to the “nice, Southern girls” that I’ve dated, my formerly white, brown, blue and green shirt selection now has pink added to it.

On the other hand, he is named “Monjack.” I think he’s an alien.