Chinese Censor Pirates Of The Caribbean

GOVERNMENT SAYS MOVIE “VILIFIES, DEFACES” CHINESE CULTURE … NOT TO MENTION BEING CONFUSING AS HELL

FITSNews – June 16, 2007 – The Chinese government has censored the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie because it “vilifies and defaces” Chinese culture and maintains “Hollywood’s old tradition of demonizing the Chinese.” According to published reports:

The role of Hong Kong star Chow Yun-Fat, who plays pirate lord Captain Sao Feng, had been slashed in half to just about 10 minutes of screen time … Chinese censors also cut Chow’s line in which he states ‘Welcome to Singapore’ because it hints Singapore is a land of pirates.

At least the Chinese didn’t censor the parts of the movie that were totally confusing as hell. Otherwise, there would be no movie to go see. Seriously, we watched “Pirates 3″ for the first time last night and the only thing we felt reasonably sure of was Orlando Bloom‘s homosexuality. Well, that and the fact that Kiera Knightly needs to be force-fed a diet of nothing but Philly Cheesesteaks … intravenously, if necessary. There’s a lot of good action scenes and cool special effects, but making sense of the plot requires a cereal box decoder ring, the Rosetta Stone and a previously undiagnosed form of advanced attention deficit disorder. We were going to write a review of the film for a client but ended up putting a sword through our laptop instead.