Moulding Young Minds
SIC WILLIE SHOWS STUDENTS HOW TO “BUST A MOVE”
FITSNews – May 21, 2007 – The fact that he sits on his ass all day long is one thing. The fact that people actually invite him to speak to impressionable young minds about sitting on his ass all day long is frankly something else – something quite frightening to be perfectly honest. Yet in the last month, our very own Sic Willie has helped mould young minds by speaking at three South Carolina institutions of higher learning – and he has another two speeches to college audiences scheduled for the coming week.
“I have a little something Barack Obama called the audacity of hope, a little something Martin Luther King called a dream, a little something Dave Chappelle called the shiz-nittle-bam-snip-snip-snap and a little something the French refer to as that certain je ne sais quoi,” Sic Willie said. “Plus the kids love it when I show them how to bust a move.”
Sic Willie is a legend in his own mind, like when he makes “vroom, vroom” sounds pedaling his bicycle around town pretending he is in a Motocross Challenge. Or when he sits on the toilet pretending sports reporters are interviewing him about the skill with which he manages his first place fantasy baseball team. Or just before bedtime when he and his stuffed animals pretend they’re a special forces unit sent on a dangerous mission to liberate North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il’s “pleasure squad” from its yoke of dictatorial oppression. Say what you will, it’s all in a day’s work for our founding editor …
Comments
By sic haters on May 21st, 2007 at 6:31 am
B-I-N is going to have a field day with this one. of courde once again it is classic sic willie reverse psycollogy – he writes what others think to make it look like he is so funny and able to take jokes.
well it is sad but true wilbur – you are a joke.
By FITSNews on May 21st, 2007 at 8:03 am
Haters-
As long as the joke is funny, we don’t think Sic Willie really cares that much.
-FITSNews
By Bk on May 21st, 2007 at 2:15 pm
NEWS FLASH – BELDAR RETURNS!
May 21, 2007 – Beldar of Remulak has returned! And, he’s assimilated the body of the half-human creature formerly known as sic(k) willie. He can be recognized by his total lack of ethics, his constant rumormongering, his fat shiny head and his pudgy bloated face.
Beldar has never been known for being fashion conscious and may be wearing a crew neck white t-shirt when a vee neck would make more fashion sense.
BELIEVEITNOT.NEWS located Beldar recently in the Vista consuming mass quantities of fermented beverages in his attempt to build up his empty beer can collection for a duel with Boss Hogg. He invited us to join him as he drank a six pack – all at once.
In an exclusive to BELIEVEITNOT.NEWS Beldar said, “My return to Earth was prompted by U.S. immigration reform. In light of my previous illegal status I will apply for a Z Visa. I desire Temporary Worker status so I can continue to spread slimy false rumors, sling mud and attack those who do not believe in the Remulak Platform.â€
When asked about other family members who came here with him in 1993 for world domination, he responded, “They are “Remulakians In Name Only!†True Remulakians, like me, never give up on world domination. True Remulakians never stop spreading gossip and lies and attacking those who don’t agree with the Remulakian Platform!â€
Beldar has started his own Midland’s area political consulting firm, ViewRemulak. He is pictured here holding a list of his paying clients as he sucks on a lemon seed.
-BELIEVEITNOT.NEWS EXCLUSIVE
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By Ducky on May 21st, 2007 at 3:49 pm
You in Jolly Ole England….mould…
By Newspaper Hack on May 21st, 2007 at 9:12 pm
I have to know – what’s the food in the picture? It looks like a fried baby of the Loch Ness monster.
By Deb O'Nare on May 22nd, 2007 at 10:41 am
Believeitnot,
How can you critique a man who is willing to sacrifice all to liberate a pleasure squad from the yoke of dictatorial oppression? Will is a selfless hero, and deserves thanks for addressing what so many mainline news sources are afraid to…pleasure squads. Will, here’s a big thank you from women everywhere.
By believeitnot on May 22nd, 2007 at 12:40 pm
It has often been said in the Midlands that weewilliefolks is way too in tune with his “feminine side.” His last post as Deb proves it. We can only wonder if he blogs in drag? Kinky.
By HP on September 17th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
Oh, Sic One — you know you are just teasing us with new photos — and making us all want to rub your “cranial area” [we all know where you would take it if we used the other term for it].
You’re the Telly Savalas of the Blogosphere!
http://www.tellysavalas.com/
…………
P.S. Tell Mrs. Sic that I too got corrected vision long after my parents SHOULD HAVE discovered my deficiency. We were recent graduates — shooting bottles in the woods around Mississippi State University — and my [to be] husband was perturbed that I couldn’t hit a thing. He grabbed some glasses off of some dude, put them on me, and wa-la, my whole world changed…
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