Mitt Romney Loves Babies
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES TURN ON THE CHARM IN ANTICIPATION OF TOMORROW NIGHT’S BIG DEBATE
FITSNews – May 14, 2007 - Tonight, every Republican hanger-on from here to Gardenia (well Garden City, anyway) will be in attendance at the SCGOP’s annual Silver Elephant(’s Ass) Banquet in downtown Columbia, S.C. Not surprisingly, so will several of the presidential candidates currently courting conservative votes. Now try to say “candidates currently courting conservative votes” five times real fast. We dare you.
Anyway, we hear one of the would-be presidents, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney (above, kissing baby) is already in town sucking up to the locals and impressing them with his seemingly effortless flipping skill.
We’ve also heard reports that a special dolphin pool is being installed for Romney’s use at the local Kroger Sav-On, where tomorrow night’s big South Carolina Republican Presidential Debate is being held. We thought it was a little wierd that ten presidential candidates would decide to debate outside a grocery store, too, but whatever. It’s all about schmoozing the people, people.
Comments
By Newspaper Hack on May 14th, 2007 at 10:58 pm
They have to do it outside a grocery store for the chapstick. When you’re kissing that much fundy ass (seriously, three major presidential candidates don’t believe in evolution?) your lips get mighty chapped.
By yep on May 15th, 2007 at 9:22 am
can’t evolution and the bible both be right? Genesis starts off with God creating the world in seven days but couldn’t a day to God be several years? If so, does this work? Many have heard the argument that the word “day” in Genesis does not mean a literal 24 hour type day, but that the “days” represent 6 ages of successive time periods. (6,000 years) After all how could Adam have named all of the animals on the sixth day in 24 hours?
By GKP on May 15th, 2007 at 10:48 am
They can both be right…but not under the 6,000 years = 1 day theory. I am pretty sure that math doesn’t get you to the couple billion years you need to measure the age of the earth.
Bottom line: if you believe the Old Testament is a science text book (and, for example, Sarah was about 90 when Isaac was born, and Jonah lived inside the whale for 3 days) then you are going to have a real tough time with evolution (and more accurately, natural selection).
If you believe the that Old Testament is allegorical (and my Church taught me that I could — as long as I believed the factual nature of the New Testament) then it is fairly easy to reconcile natural selection/evolution and Christian faith.
However, my guess is we lost a good many presidential candidates after about line 3 of this comment….
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