Tori Spelling’s Mom Joins Paris Hilton “Pile On”
CANDY SPELLING HATES ON HEIRESS IN MOTHER’S DAY MANIFESTO
FITSNews – May 13, 2007 – Of all the people in the world not to waste your time sending an open letter to, popslut Paris Hilton ranks like number 1, 2 and 3 on our list – and that list that includes dead people, infants and illiterates. Maybe Candy Spelling was just trying to beat the 41 cent stamp deadline, but for whatever reason the mother of facially-challenged former 90210 “actress” Tori Spelling took it upon herself to publicly chide Paris for pitching a celebrity tantrum in the wake of several highly-publicized vehicular indiscretions. As TMZ reports, the Spelling “open letter” reads (in part):
“Paris, I’m very worried about you. The last week has not only been an obvious roller-coaster for you emotionally, but your strategy went from blaming employees and stating silly excuses like, “I don’t read,” to your new lawyer’s tactic to have you sound mature and take some responsibility. In between, the paparazzi continue to follow you shopping and taking self-defense classes (to protect yourself in jail?), and some over-zealous friends staged embarrassing protests (three people?), and wasted taxpayer funds with a petition to pardon you.”
Aside from the fact that trying to get Paris to grow up and take some responsibility for her life is a lot like getting bears to hate porridge, we’re going to have to give Mrs. Spelling’s letter the thumbs down. Why? Because we had it translated with a special truth serum and what the letter really said was “Paris – I hate you because you’re prettier than my daughter. Love, Mrs. Spelling.” Which actually isn’t saying much because The Elephant Man is prettier than Candy’s daughter. Seriously, the Spellings have spent like forty one kabillionty dollars trying to make Tori attractive and all they have to show for it is that her tongue isn’t forked anymore … at least not as much as it used to be. But we digress. The real lesson here is the only thing more pathetic than self-absorbed people are hangers-on like Candy Spelling who can’t stop obsessing over them.
Comments
By Newspaper Hack on May 14th, 2007 at 1:48 am
I know that it’s the dead period for presidential poltics and college football, but I shall put a pox upon your house for bringing the name “Candy Spelling” into my noggin. Seriously – candy spelling? That’s T-W-I-X.
By Newspaper Hack on May 14th, 2007 at 1:50 am
Oh, and don’t click my hyperlinked name on the above comment. Wordpress is playing games with me.
By believeitnot on May 14th, 2007 at 6:24 am
We here at beliveitnot.news think it’s wonderful sic(k) willie has shifted the focus of his blog to the people he knows the most about: popsluts, dead people, infants and illiterates.
Things at fitnews.not must really be boring! No advertisers for his blog, no clients, no credibility and sic(k) willie’s reputation in the toilet along with his job prospects in S.C.
With so much time on his hands we think it’s past time sic(k) willie made good on his promise to give us more information on the slimy rumor he started that a midland’s elected official has a”str@m problem.” Otherwise willie is nothing but a rumormonger. And who don’t know that!!
Coming soon: sic(k) willie’s update on his FOI request to peek under the covers and into the governor’s personal computer. We here at believeitnot.news are really looking forward to that!
Tell us more, willie!
By tammy on May 14th, 2007 at 8:07 am
and to think her Dad left the hideous “Love Boat,” “Fantasy Island” or “Saved by the Bell” footage as evidence to remind us of how bad it used to be…
By Believe this on May 14th, 2007 at 9:14 am
“The real lesson here is the only thing more pathetic than self-absorbed people are hangers-on like Candy Spelling who can’t stop obsessing over them.”
Hmmm…Sounds an awful lot like believeitnot, who seems to be overly concerned with how much time other people have on their hands. Pot, meet kettle.
By ellsbells on May 14th, 2007 at 10:41 am
Dear believeitnot,
self-absorved people = fits
the more pathetic hangers-on who can’t stop obsessing over them = you
By Alex Gillon on May 14th, 2007 at 11:49 am
“In the land of the blind, the one-eyed are kings.”
By GIve Me FITS on May 14th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
I thought that in the Land of the Blind Mark Sanford was King…
By GIve Me FITS on May 14th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
oops, almost forgot…
“Strom Problem”
Couldn’t leave that out…
By believeitnot on May 14th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
ellsbells, your words of encouragement mean a lot to us here at believeitnot.news! We thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
And, we promise to keep the sunshine on sic(k) willie’s slimy rumor mongering until the governor hires him back or pardons him for his CDV conviction. Or until we get tired.
We might ease up some on the day sic(k) willie gives us proof of his slimy rumor about an elected official he claims has a “str@m problem” or the day the governor turns the contents of his laptop over to willie under FOI.
Until something like that happens you can count on believeitnot.news to keep you up to date and informed of what reasonable people think about this BGB.
Geezzzz, you sic(k) willie supporters are as bad as he is. The company you keep, remember?