NOTHING GOOD COMES FROM WATCHING WOMEN'S BASKETBALL FITSNews - April 11, 2007 - You know between monitoring the status of porn star Jenna Jameson's dramatic weight loss and "clearing the mechanism" for this morning's Verizon Heritage Pro-Am Golf Tournament, we've been a little busy the last couple of
Read story »Archive for April, 2007
Sic Willie Has His Own Word?
"FOLKSONOMY" IS FOR REAL, PEOPLE FITSNews - April 10, 2007 - Believe it or not, Folksonomy is a real word. Yeah, we wish it wasn't either, because Sic Willie literally won't shut up about it. Anyway, here's the definition: A folksonomy is a user generated taxonomy used to categorize and retrieve Web
Read story »Brian Williams Has A Big Ole Stick Up His Butt
FACE OF THE OLD MEDIA RAILS ON THE NEW FITSNews - April 10, 2007 - NBC Nightly News Anchor Brian Williams, who has a nice tan and reads off a teleprompter for a living, vented a little frustration about the rise of the new media during a speech to New York University journalism students recently. Quoting
Read story »Dew, Dew, Dew Looking Out (Our) Front Door
SIC WILLIE PREPARES FOR THE HERITAGE THE ONLY WAY HE KNOWS HOW FITSNews - April 10, 2007 - On the strength of an amazing performance at the Masters last weekend, our very own Sic Willie has apparently earned his PGA card and reported to Hilton Head Island to play in the Verizon Heritage Golf Tournament.
Read story »When Did Maverick Get So Crazy?
CRUISE TAKING GROUND ZERO RESCUE WORKERS ON HIGHWAY TO THE (MENTAL) DANGER ZONE FITSNews - April 9, 2007 - You know, there used to be a time when the idea of Tom Cruise using scientology to cure 9/11 rescue workers might have seemed a little bit strange to us. Of course that was before Cruise went
Read story »South Carolina’s Governor Has Lost His Fool Mind
SANFORD USING STORIES ABOUT BEARS, PORRIDGE TO LOBBY FOR RIDICULOUSLY SMALL INCOME TAX CUT FITSNews - April 8, 2007 - We're not sure which is more pathetic - the fact that S.C. Governor Mark Sanford has been reduced to begging for an income tax cut of less than two tenths of a percentage point, or that
Read story »Whatever
DEBBIE PARKHURST OF CALVERT, MARYLAND IS MAKING UP STUFF FITSNews - April 7, 2007 - We were flipping through our latest copy of In Touch magazine the other day when we came upon the "story" of Debbie Parkhurst of Calvert, Maryland. In case you've never heard of this woman before, she's the one who claims
Read story »What’s Wrong With This Picture?
NINETEEN TIMES TWO IS THIRTY-EIGHT, FOR STARTERS FITSNews - April 7, 2007 - We had never heard of nineteen year old actress Evan Rachel Wood before today. In fact, it's entirely possible that she isn't even a real person. That could easily be just another extremely pale robot that thirty-eight year
Read story »Somebody Has A Strom Thurmond Problem?
ANOTHER WHITE, REPUBLICAN POLITICIAN FATHERS AFRICAN-AMERICAN CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK, SOURCES SAY FITSNews - April 6, 2007 - An as yet unidentified white Republican State Senator is the father of an illegitimate African-American child, sources tell FITSNews. While the identities of both the State Senator
Read story »Meet Jake
NEVER HEARD OF HIM, CAN'T SPELL HIS LAST NAME BUT HE'S DATING REESE WITHERSPOON FITSNews - April 5, 2007 - Imagine our shock when we received the following text message from our good friend "Classic Antebellum Beauty" today: "Did you know that Reese is eating Jake Gyllenhall?" Eating? Fearing the
Read story »Look Who’s Winning The Masters
SIC WILLIE SCORCHES AUGUSTA NATIONAL EN ROUTE TO COMMANDING TEN-STROKE LEAD FITSNews - April 5, 2007 - Forget Tiger Woods. And those two guys no one has ever heard of who are actually winning the Masters. Thursday's opening round belonged to none other than Sic Willie. Sporting his signature (non-matching)
Read story »Sic Willie’s Azaleas Win National Blue Ribbon … Again
S.C. BAD BOY'S SEASONALS SWEEP AZALEA HYBRID CATEGORY FOR FOURTH YEAR IN A ROW FITSNews - April 5, 2007 - For the fourth consecutive year, Sic Willie's blue ribbon azaleas have swept every section of the Azalea Hybrid category at the 2007 Azalea Society of America (ASA)'s National Convention. "People
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