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When Sanford “Attacks”

By fitsnews • on April 25, 2007

WATCH OUT FOR FLYING MEXICANS, PEOPLE

FITSNews - April 25, 2007 - We kept hearing rumors last week that S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford was going to run television ads blistering the S.C. Senate for its wasteful spending and failure to use a $1.3 billion surplus to provide meaningful tax relief to the people of the Palmetto State. Of course knowing the governor as well as we do, we suspected all along that his definition of “blistering” might be a little softer than everybody else’s.

Well, we couldn’t have been righter … er more right. It turns out Sanford’s D.C. consultant has come up with a Fiesta-themed radio abortion that has about as much “bite” to it as a pink-sweatered Pomeranian being walked by a gay couple in Key West wearing matching “I’m With Him” shirts and purple assless chaps. Not that there’s anything wrong with gay people. Or Pomeranians. Or purple assless chaps, for that matter.

Seriously though, this ad sounds like a cross between a Lionel Richie song and a suicide prevention hotline. It starts off with a recitation of the popular green bean museum outrage set to canned mariachi music and then abruptly cuts to a doleful-sounding Governor Sanford urging us once again to “call your Senator.” Like that’s going to work. You know we were going to include a link to the ad here on FITSNews but after listening to it a second time, our computer made us pinkie-swear we wouldn’t.