There’s No Pfriggin’ Way We’re Going To See “Stardust”

PFEIFFER’S PFILM UNDER THE RADAR OF SUMMER BLOCKBUSTERS … AND WITH GOOD REASON

PFITSNews – April 23, 2007 - We were scrolling through our list of summer movies to avoid when we came upon the web site for “Stardust,” which damn near broke our poor computer with all its pfriggin’ interactive pfoolishness.

Any movie that “begins in a village in England and ends up in a magical world” is suspicious enough, but Stardust conpfirms our worst pfears by pfeaturing gay British accents, a character named Tristan, Clare Danes, Clare Danes playing the part of a “shooting star,” elderly witches doing a lot of hocus pocus, non-period specipfic swashbuckling, Robert De Niro playing the part of an effeminate balloon ship pirate (say it ain’t so) and a trailer that includes the line “never has there been an adventure quite like this.” Which is always the kiss of death.

Seriously, if we were pforced to choose between watching Stardust once or watching Sweatin’ To The Oldies like a hundred kabillion times, break out the Richard Simmons track shorts and bring us some gatorade, people. Pf*ck it.