The South Carolina Lowcountry In (Really Bad) Pictures

FROM THE HERITAGE ON HILTON HEAD ISLAND TO THE HISTORIC HOMES OF THE CHARLESTON BATTERY, JOIN SIC WILLIE ON A FANTASTIC VOYAGE Y’ALL

FITSNews – April 22, 2007 – With the honeyed, mellifluous call of the nocturnal whippoorwill fading into the pre-dawn mist and the first rays of sunlight glinting ever-so-gingerly down the barrel of a smoothbore Confederate cannon, our very own Sic Willie rose to greet this pristine Lowcountry morning with a … you know, we just couldn’t keep that ridiculous sentence going without cracking up.

It’s Sic Willie, people. Honestly. He woke up, drank some coffee and immediately began contributing to the decline of Western Civilization.

Interestingly enough, while the rest of us FITS girls would prefer to devote space on this website to more substantive considerations, people for some reason can’t seem to get enough of Sic Willie’s (Really Bad) photo galleries.

True, a toddler could accidentally step on a digital camera and take better pictures than these, but Sic Willie’s photo galleries (D.C. and Louisiana, for example) somehow always get mad hits. And we go with what gets hits here at FITS. So … in the spirit of Whitesnake, “Here We Go Again …”

(Above) Beautiful Bay Street in downtown Beaufort. Shortly after this picture was taken, however, a nunchuk-wielding bartender named Rico tore through this city block, doing considerable damage to the Buick in the foreground.

(Above) Would we lie? A picture of Rico (w/ nunchuks) shortly before his rampage. Okay, okay, Rico really didn’t go on a rampage. In fact, his name isn’t even Rico. But he really does have nunchuk skills. And girls like guys with great skills. Like nunchuk skills. And bow-hunting skills. And computer hacking skills. And …

(Above) The view from Sic Willie’s dockside flat at the Verizon Heritage. Special thanks to Lewis Winthorpe, Virgo, and Billy Ray Valentine, Capricorn..

(Above) The world famous 18th Hole at the Heritage. Calibogey Sound (which Sic Willie didn’t hit once) is to the left.

(Above) Silhouetted against a blue sky, U.S. Rep. Jim Clyburn tees off on the 18th Hole during the Verizon Heritage Pro-Am.

(Above) This guy named Tom Lehman pretty much kicked Jim Clyburn’s ass all over the golf course. We don’t know who he is, but he was pretty darn good to be playing in a Pro-Am. He did look suspiciously similar to that Tin Cup guy, come to think of it.

(Above) The winner of the 2007 Verizon Heritage Classic, Sic Willie, poses beside the green of the 10th Hole. He stepped over the rope ever so briefly to greet some fans and pose for a few pictures.

(Above) Sic Willie’s dessert arrives, the perfect end to a tiring day out on the links. The chocolate chip ice cream was delicious, too.

(Above) Moving up the coast now. The famous Sullivans Island Light House.

(Above) Wind whips the Palmetto trees standing in front of Fort Moultrie on Sullivans Island, location of one of the first Colonial victories of the American Revolution. The original Fort Moultrie was actually made of Palmetto logs, which helped absorb the impact of British shells during the battle for Charleston Harbor. Because it’s all about spongy absorbency, baby.

(Above) You’ve read about it in the newspapers, here it is – Chez Sanford on Sullivans Island. The famous basement that served as headquarters for his primary and runoff campaigns is just beyond the white lattice work.

(Above) Just down the street from the governor’s oceanfront pad is his buddy Greg Ryberg’s, um, summer cottage. Video poker and lottery money buys some nice digs, don’t it?

(Above) In this see through shot you can see Lindsay is wearing a sailor suit … wait a minute. What is this doing here? Sic Willie!

(Above) Sunlight glints off of whatever the hell is was Sic Willie was blabbing about at the start of this article. Oh yeah, this is the spot where the first shots of the Civil War were fired. At least that’s what the man driving the carriage told us.

(Above) Charleston’s famous Battery greets another day.

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