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Sic Willie and Bandito

EXPERTS AMAZED HE CLEARED TEN DOLLAR THRESHOLD

FITSNews – April 4, 2007 – Sending a clear message that his presidential campaign had better be taken seriously, Sic Willie today reported itemized receipts of $11.5 dollars to the Federal Election Commission. Actually it was more like $11.58. And he may or may not have stolen $10 from reporter Lee Bandy‘s wallet during the latter’s recent retirement party.

“Frankly, it’s pretty amazing he was able to get that much – by hook, crook or any other means,” said USC political scientist Blease Graham. “Nevertheless, Sic Willie has announced his presence with authority.”

Yet tempering the enthusiasm surrounding Sic Willie’s blistering fundraising pace was the news that he has already blown $10.3 dollars of his war chest on lunch at Groucho’s Deli in downtown Five Points, leaving him with just $1.2 dollars cash on hand. Of course Groucho’s does have crazy awesome V.R.