HULA HOOP IDEA OBVIOUSLY DID NOT GO OVER WELL WITH SC HOTLINE MANAGEMENT FITSNews - March 23, 2007 - Less than a week after soaring to upper echelons of power at the SC Hotline, our very own Sic Willie was unceremoniously jettisoned today via a press release appearing on the Hotline's blog. We're not
Read story »Archive for March, 2007
The Evil Plan Is Working
WASHINGTON POST, MAINSTREAM MEDIA HAVING MULTIPLE ORGASMS OVER EDWARDSES' ANNOUNCEMENT FITSNews - March 23, 2007 - It's hard being a cynic these days. Honestly. Everybody knew John Edwards' presidential campaign was in the toilet and he needed something, anything, to draw attention to it in a positive
Read story »FITSNews Exclusive – Lobbyist’s Name Change Shocks S.C. Political Insiders
JJ DARBY OFFICIALLY CHANGES NAME TO TT D'ARBY FITSNews - March 23, 2007 - It may only be two letters, but switching them up has meant a world of difference to longtime S.C. lobbyist John Joseph "J.J." Darby. Yesterday Darby, who lobbies for the Palmetto Policy Group, had his name formally changed to
Read story »John Edwards Is An Insensitive Prick
HIS WIFE'S CANCER HAS RETURNED, BUT GOD FORBID IT DISRUPT HIS SELFISH POLITICAL AMBITIONS FITSNews - March 22, 2007 - We actually vomited in our mouths just a little bit when we saw how many Americans were completely hoodwinked by John Edwards' shameless exploitation of his wife's breast cancer. But
Read story »Kim Jong Il Stakes Nuclear Talks On Video Bowling Game
RECLUSIVE LEADER BETTING ARSENAL THAT HE CAN BEAT BUSH IN SILVER STRIKE BOWLING FITSNews - March 22, 2007 - North Korean communist dictator Kim Jong Il (above, left) has agreed to permanently dismantle his nation's nuclear weapons program if U.S. President George W. Bush can defeat him in a game of
Read story »Shrub Fitin’ Mad Over Subpoenas
WHAT UPSETS PRESIDENT MOST, THOUGH, IS "SUBPOENA" IS ANOTHER WORD HE CANNOT SPELL FITSNews - March 22, 2007 - President Shrub is reportedly "fitin' mad" over a round of subpoenas directed at his top aides in the burgeoning Attorney General firing scandal. Of course what upsets Bush most is the fact
Read story »Those Crazy Coopers
"ANDERSON CONNECTION" KEEPING IT ALL IN THE FAMILY FITSNews - March 22, 2007 - Not since that chase scene from The Italian Job have we seen a bunch of Coopers acting so crazy. Seriously. Just when we thought our coverage of the brewing competitive grants scandal at the State House was going to be confined
Read story »S.C. Governor Makes Wu-Tang Clan Short List
HIP-HOP GROUP REPORTEDLY VIBING ON SANFORD'S FREESTYLE FLOW FITSNews - March 22, 2007 - On the strength of his rousing rendition of their hit song "C.R.E.A.M. (Cash Rules Everything Around Me)," the Wu-Tang Clan is considering adding S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford as a replacement for deceased rapper Ol' Dirty
Read story »Somebody Has A Freckle Fetish
AND HIS NAME IS ... SIC WILLIE! FITSNews - March 21, 2007 - Most people, including us FITS gals, think LL is nothing but low class white trash. Then there is Sic Willie, who thinks she is a princess. On a unicorn. With freckles (Lindsay, not the unicorn). To wit: "The other day I was pretending that
Read story »Local Girl Does Good …
READING OPENS DOORS TO ALL SORTS OF NEW WORLDS, PEOPLE FITSNews - March 21, 2007 - Columbia, S.C.'s own Ainsley Earhardt (above: blonde ... sorry, above: blonde, black dress) has hit the big time as an anchor with FITSNews ... er, sorry ... FOX News. Guess there is a slight difference there. Like how
Read story »When It Ain’t About The Fetus
SANFORD, INGLIS USING S.C. LEGISLATIVE DEBATE ON ULTRASOUND PICS TO ADVANCE OWN INTERESTS FITSNews - March 21, 2007 - It's curious that S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford and U.S Rep. Bob Inglis have both weighed in on the status of a S.C. House bill which mandates that women who are about to have an abortion first
Read story »Gas Is Expensive Again
WE JUST BLEW A GASKET AT THESE OUTRAGEOUS PRICES FITSNews - March 21, 2007 - Unbelievable. The FITS girls sashayed our way over to the local Exxon this morning and 'bout fell out of our Suburban when we saw these astronomical prices. Seriously, this is an outrage. We need to start a war with somebody
Read story »
