Sic Willie’s Action Figure Arrested

STORMTROOPER LATEST CASUALTY IN JOHN EDWARDS’ DUST-UP

FITSNews – March 25, 2007 - Turns out getting “fired” from SC Hotline wasn’t the only ill to befall Sic Willie as a result of his controversial post about John and Elizabeth Edwards’ the other day. In an equally controversial follow-up to the original Edwards’ post, this seemingly unrelated disclosure was made:

We haven’t seen evil like (Edwards) since September 2, 1980 – the date on which Sic Willie’s G.I. Joe and Star Wars’ action figures undertook a joint invasion of Courtney Whitmire’s house. What they did to those Barbie dolls was unspeakable. Unspeakable, people.

Acting on a tip from an informant, police this morning apprehended a Star Wars’ action figure (pictured above) who is believed to have been the ringleader of the joint invasion. Charged with “improper light petting of an inanimate object,” the Stormtrooper is currently free on a $100,000 personal recognizance bond. Sic Willie, as usual, denied any responsibility for the incident, saying “that’s my little brother’s Stormtrooper, not mine!” Fortunately, the most serious charges against the figurine were dismissed when authorities learned Sic Willie was only five years old at the time of the incident, and was still operating under the assumption that girls were “gross.”