“Pulling A Britney”

SIC WILLIE SHAVES HEAD, ATTACKS PAPARAZZI

FITSNews - March 17, 2007 - So Sic Willie shaved his head today - which experts agree is a clear cry for help. Except replace “clear cry for help” with “clear attempt to hide male pattern baldness.”

Either way, Sic Willie’s homage to his favorite popslut immediately aroused the interest of no one the paparazzi, which swarmed his dilapidated shack luxurious townhouse today with cameras at the ready. Which of course resulted in another Britney homage, this one consisting of some incoherent whining and a violent umbrella attack. Presumably followed by some eating.

Nice work by X17online.com in capturing Britney’s brella berating, but lamentably no one was able to get the Sic one’s rampage on film. That’s because unlike trailer tubby’s “I’m a gawn git u” sissy fit, Sic Willie’s umbrella attack was neither seen nor heard. Which is because it never happened true umbrella-numchuck wielding stealth ninjas are invisible to the naked eye.