Ben Franklin Has Some Serious Monument Envy

AS FOUNDING FATHERS GO, THE PRINTER-INVENTOR’S STATUE COULD USE SOME MEMORIAL VIAGRA

FITSNews – March 14, 2007 - Abraham Lincoln has a memorial. So does Thomas Jefferson. George Washington has a big swinging 500-foot phallus right out in the middle of the National Mall … in the town that bears his name, incidentally.

So where, pray tell, in our nation’s capital is the ‘etched in stone’ tribute to kite-flyer/ printer/ diplomat/ inventor/ author/ founding father/ lots of other things, Ben Franklin?

Well, that’s what we here at FITSNews get paid the big bucks to track down. Turns out, Franklin’s statue is outside the Old Post Office in the middle of Pennsylvania Avenue. Where it gets lots of attention … from pigeons who need to use the bathroom, anyway.

Yup. Surrounded by massive stone edifices erected in honor of our nation’s more famous leaders, there stands Ben Franklin like a marble shortknocker.