DECIDERER-IN-CHIEF READY TO ASSUME RIGHTFUL PLACE AMONG PANTHEON OF PRESIDENTS FITSNews - February 16, 2007 - Shrub spent his President's Day posing for a spot on Mt. Rushmore, sources tell FITSNews. "History will remember this president as having the courage of conviction, the purpose of principle
Read story »Archive for February, 2007
Romneypalooza, The Vidorsement
EXPERTS AGREE - WITH EXCEPTION OF NIKKI HALEY, ROMNEY'S S.C. VIDORSEMENT "MUST NOT SEE YOUTUBE" FITSNews - February 16, 2007 - If you hate yourself, hate your computer or just want to see how fast your political gag reflex takes to kick in, go ahead and click on this Mitt "Romneypalooza" music vidorsement
Read story »South Carolina’s “Brady Bill” Offends Sic Willie
THE SUDAFED IS BECAUSE HE HAS A COLD, PEOPLE, NOT BECAUSE HE WANTS TO START A METH LAB FITSNews - February 15, 2007 - Sic Willie is feeling a little under the weather today, so he drove down to the local pharmacy to get some Sudafed for his cold. Boy, was he in for a surprise. Thanks to S.C. Rep. Joan
Read story »K-12 Achievement “Higher” Than Last Year
AMERICAN CHILDREN EXPANDING HORIZONS, RAISING EXPECTATIONS FITSNews - February 15, 2007 - We don't know what these kids are doing either, although it does look suspiciously similar to what Sic Willie was doing back in elementary school. Yeah, elementary school. Because crack was his middle school "D.O.C."
Read story »Little Early For Street Money, Isn’t It Hillary?
BUT THERE'S NEVER A BAD TIME FOR NATALIE PORTMAN TO GO BRA-LESS, PEOPLE FITSNews - February 15, 2007 - The New York Post is reporting today that S.C. Sen. Darrell Jackson's consulting firm got paid $200,000 by the Hillary Clinton campaign days before the African-American leader, um, yeah, endorsed Clinton's
Read story »Mitt Romney Makes It Official …
FOR LIKE THE MILLIONTH TIME, FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOVERNOR LETS US KNOW HE IS OFFICIALLY RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT FITSNews - February 14, 2007 - Mitt Romney seriously can't get enough of announcing that he's running for president. Of course what do you expect from a communications office that sends out
Read story »This Stuff Drives Us CRAZY … So CRAZY
SOMEBODY OBVIOUSLY HASN'T READ THE LINER NOTES TO NINE INCH NAILS' DOWNWARD SPIRAL FITSNews - February 14, 2007 - For the record, Trent Reznor wrote the song "Hurt." It was on Nine Inch Nails' breakthrough industrial rock album, The Downward Spiral, released in 1994. Music legend Johnny Cash covered
Read story »La Isla Bonita
WE GIVE YOU A SPANISH LULLABYE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY FITSNews - February 14, 2007 - We like to move it, move it. But we also like to samba. To Madonna. Like San Pedro. Who we fell in love with on La Isla Bonita. Seriously, people. Tropical the island breeze, all of nature wild and free, this is where
Read story »Kitzman: “I Was Instructed Not To Expand The Wind Pool”
OUTGOING DIRECTOR OF INSURANCE TESTIFIES BEFORE HOUSE SUBCOMMITTEE ON COASTAL INSURANCE CRISIS FITSNews – February 13, 2007 – S.C. Insurance Director Eleanor Kitzman, who was thrown under the bus by S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford last week after he failed to follow her recommendations regarding
Read story »Thousands Gather For School Choice
IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF ROBERT PLANT, "NOW'S THE TIME, THE TIME IS NOW" FITSNews - February 13, 2007 - Approximately 4,000 people gathered on the S.C. State House steps today to support real school choice here in the Palmetto State, not the watered down public school choice that Jim Rex is supporting. Think
Read story »Mitt Romney’s Retarded Iguanas Are Sneaky Like That
NIMRODS OVER AT MITT ROMNEY'S ONLINE MOUTHPIECE NOT DOING A VERY GOOD JOB HIDING ALLEGIANCES FITSNews - February 13, 2007 - When the retarded iguanas over at A Daily Turd got their high-profile gig as a state affiliate for the National Journal (which as you can see drives us girls absolutely wild),
Read story »Skinny Girls, Meet Your New “Life Coach”
LEARN TO STARE DOWN YOUR INNERMOST DEMONS AND PUT AN END TO THE SHAME SPIRAL ... FOR GOOD FITSNews - February 13, 2007 - You know with all the press Mike Huckabee and his amazing weight loss got yesterday, we thought it was important today to remind all of you out there who struggle with under-eating
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