CELEBRITIES SHOCKED TO DISCOVER TROPHIES REPLACED BY KNOCKOUT OSCAR DE LA HOYA PUNCHES FITSNews - Febrauary 26, 2007 - Dozens of actors and actresses who thought they were about to get their hands on the motion picture industry's most prestigious honor last night were instead shocked to find themselves
Read story »Archive for February, 2007
You Thought We Were Crazy …
... BUT ACCORDING TO ONE INCREDIBLY INTENSE COLUMBIA MAN, IT TURNS OUT WE ARE NOTHING SHORT OF MODERN DAY PROPHETS, PEOPLE FITSNews - February 25, 2007 - Two months ago, Sic Willie wrote an article about the Michigan marching band jinxing the Michigan football team by playing "Stairway to Heaven" during
Read story »Sharpton Sues Thurmond Family For Eleventy Kabillion Dollars
AFRICAN-AMERICAN LEADER WANTS 'BACK WAGES' FOR ANCESTORS' WORK FITSNews - February 25, 2007 - The Reverend Al Sharpton is suing the family of the late U.S. Sen. Strom Thurmond for back wages in the amount of eleventy kabillion dollars. Why? Well, Thurmond's family apparently owned Sharpton's family.
Read story »Oh Hell
REV. AL SHARPTON'S ANCESTORS ALLEGEDLY OWNED BY SEN. STROM THURMOND'S ANCESTORS FITSNews - February 25, 2007 - We wish this was one of our funny funny jokey jokey posts. Sadly, it's not. It is a not so funny lawn jockey post, though. But if we were going to make up something "crazy ridiculous" to
Read story »McDreamy Fighting Cancer For Real
JUST WHEN WE THOUGHT HE COULDN'T GET ANY MORE PERFECT, GREY'S STAR IS NOW FIGHTING CANCER IN REAL LIFE FITSNews - February 25, 2007 - After watching his mother survive two bouts with ovarian cancer, Grey's Anatomy star McDreamy (a.k.a. Patrick Dempsey) is teaming up with Breakaway from Cancer, a group
Read story »Echo Chamber – God’s Army Wants Sanford For President
SECRETIVE SOCIETY WANTS S.C. GOVERNOR TO CAMPAIGN FOR NATION'S HIGHEST OFFICE FITSNews - February 25, 2007 - The New York Times is reporting this morning that a secretive society of arch-conservatives tried to get S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford to run for president earlier this month (apparently Pat Robertson
Read story »Sic Willie Lands A Client
IMAGINARY CONSULTING FIRM MAY HAVE CONFLICT OF INTEREST, HOWEVER FITSNews - February 25, 2007 - Viewpolitik LLC, the imaginary political consulting firm owned by FITSNews' founder Sic Willie, has reportedly inked a deal to represent the South Carolina Chapter of M.A.D.D. - or Mothers Against Duran Duran.
Read story »Katherine McPhee’s Breasts Mounting Massive Conspiracy
AMERICAN IDOL RUNNER-UP'S "SWEATER MONKEYS" AT THE HEART OF GARGANTUAN COVER UP FITSNews - February 24, 2007 - We just figured out who Katherine McPhee is today, but damn if she isn't already lying to us about her ample and seemingly perfectly-proportioned sweater monkeys. After going on and on about
Read story »S.C. Governor Wants To Be Vice President
SANFORD WILL NEVER MAKE IT THROUGH VEEP VETTING PROCESS, THOUGH FITSNews - February 24, 2007 - We've written before about S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford's ambitions for national elected office. Hell, our founding editor and former Sanford spinmeister Sic Willie was the "wind beneath the wings" of those ambitions
Read story »Yo-bama, We’ve Heard This Song Before
COME WITH SOMETHING MORE ORIGINAL NEXT TIME, BARACKARAMA FITSNews - February 24, 2007 - Politics is everywhere in South Carolina these days. In fact, we went for some of Chef Fatback's famous peach cobbler at Mac's On Main yesterday and were suprised to find Barack Obama's campaign literature staring
Read story »New Carolina Jerseys
COCKS GO WITH UNDER ARMOUR LOOK FOR 2007 SEASON FITSNews - February 23, 2007 - The South Carolina Football Team unveiled its new jerseys today, and they are actually pretty sweet looking. They are made by Under Armour, you know, the company with those cool "Click Clack" and "We Must Protect This House"
Read story »Strike Three?
S.C. GOVERNOR HOPES TO MAKE CONTACT WITH THIRD DHEC NOMINEE FITSNews - February 22, 2007 - After striking out with environmentalists on Ralph Norman and striking out with business leaders on Edwin Cooper, Gov. Mark Sanford is going with Greenville developer Bo Aughtry as his next choice for Chairman
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