THESE WORK ONLY IF YOUR GOAL IS TRANSITIONING FROM SEX SYMBOL TO COUSIN ITT
FITSNews – February 6, 2007 – Just as we reported recently that Reese Witherspoon’s bangs were snappy and delicious, today we bring you Mena Suvari’s bangs. Which are only snappy you’re turned on by Cousin Itt and only delicious if you like eating doggie poo.
We don’t ever remember Mena Suvari having a drive-in movie theater-sized forehead that required this kind of disguising, but whatever. Or maybe this is like some DaVinci Code mystery where the Cryptex containing the secret location of the Holy Grail is being smuggled in her hair.
Or it could be that Suvari just got tired of hundreds of thousands of balding, middle-aged married men oogling over her Lolita-esque performance in American Beauty and wanted to make sure that no man ever found her attractive again. Judging by Sic Willie‘s reaction, mission accomplished, Mena, mission accomplished.
