Keeley Hazell Almost Had Us Fooled

TURNS OUT BRITISH LINGERIE STAR DOES NOT LIKE TO HAVE PICTURES TAKEN WITH HER CLOTHES ON

FITSNews – January 18, 2007 – You know, we actually felt a little bit sorry for Keeley Hazell while reading about the unauthorized release of her sex tape by a former boyfriend on Tyler Durden yesterday.

According to Keeley: “I really loved this guy and trusted him. Never in my wildest dreams did I think he would betray me in this way. Now I don’t know who I can trust. I have turned down offers to do Playboy covers because there were certain things I simply didn’t want others to see. Now I feel I have no dignity left.”

Sounds believable, right? Like poor little princess just got tricked by that mean, mean boy into making a bad, bad tape. Of course, then we started looking for a picture of Keeley to use for this article. Which is when we realized that Keeley Hazell pretty much never has any clothes on. And when we say never, we mean never, people.

She says she didn’t do a Playboy cover because there were “certain things (she) simply didn’t want others to see?”

Like what, exactly?

We hate to break it to you, Keeley, but based on your Google image search, that train may have already left the station.

We’ve never been underwater explorers or anything like that, but searching for a picture of Keeley Hazell with her top on must have been what it felt like searching the dark, icy depths of the North Atlantic for Titanic. In fact, we were actually about to call the good folks up at Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute to see if they had some robotic submersibles we could borrow to scour the Atlantic Basin if the whole Google thing didn’t work out.

Seriously, keeping this website kinda sorta family-friendly has never been so difficult.

So yeah, you almost fooled us Keeley. But we are wise birds. Wise, determined birds.