Rudy Giuliani Is Ready For Anderson County, SC
HIZZONER HAS CORRECTLY GUESSED AVERAGE IQ AND NUMBER OF FINGERS ANDERSONIANS HAVE PER HAND, ALL HE NEEDS NOW IS TIN FOIL IN HAT
FITSNews – January 10, 2007 - Rudy Giuliani is running for President, people.
You can forget all that talk about the former New York City Mayor being on the fence, because it just isn’t true. How do we know?
Well, if the accidental publication of his 140-page campaign strategy last week wasn’t enough, just look at the number of fingers Hizzoner is holding up in that picture.
In case you are from Anderson County, we’ll help you with the math. Rudy is holding up seven fingers, which – ironically – is the same number of fingers you have per hand if you live in Anderson County. Not to mention your IQ.
Like a Blood or Crip flashing a gang sign to alert a rival that “this muthaf***a be on, yo,” Rudy is letting his primary rivals (U.S. Sen. John McCain and former Massachusetts Gov. Flip Mitt Romney) know that he is definitely running. Seven fingers is, after all, the political gang sign for being ready to campaign in Anderson County.
Of course, if Rudy REALLY wants to impress the people of Anderson he will show up to campaign there with his trusty FDNY hat already pe-lined with tin foil.
Why? Because that’s what they put in hats up in Anderson to keep the government from interfering with their brain waves.
Talk about a poignant moment of trust and identification. Rudy could take off his hat, show the tin foil in it to Anderson’s most important political leader (who has an Egg-Tooth, by the way) and say “See, I’m one of you.”
After that Hizzoner would be golden in Anderson County. For life.
Comments
By Greta on January 10th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Someone might want to warn Hizzoner to stay clear of the library…and the guards.
By Greta on January 10th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
He might be okay after all. Just learned that library director has issued new policy prohibiting guards from being armed. My favorite, “We don’t want anyone to get hurt over a missing book”.
By Bill Smith on January 10th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
I wonder if Anderson County would let Rudy be grand marshall of their gay pride celebration. Rudy simply adores parties.
If he runs, he wins; we all know Rudy Can’t Fail
By G. L. on January 11th, 2007 at 12:47 am
That’s twice in the last week you’ve made comments about us good folks up in Anderson County. We’re not ignorant, and we’re proud of Michael Thompson and Dan Cooper.
By fitsnews on January 11th, 2007 at 3:13 am
And apparently you can count, too. So let’s have a parade!
We’ll come up if there are balloon animals. We love balloon animals.
By tongue man on January 14th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
I assume that you hate Anderson because of Dan Cooper. We’re not all dumbasses. Is that one word? If you really want to hate Anderson County, hate our County Council. They happen to be the biggest dumb asses (two words) I know. All of them care about their ego’s more than their constituents. Don’t even get me started about their boss, Joey Preston.
Most of us aren’t trailer trash liberals. We helped elect your old boss. As a matter of fact, he got 60% against Tommy Moore.