Our Fantasy General Assembly Team Kicks Ass This Year
HARVEY PEELER AND JIMMY MERRILL WERE OUR KEEPERS FROM LAST YEAR, TWO DRAFT PICKS WERE TRADED TO GET GLENN McCONNELL
FITSNews – January 9, 2007 - Can you say Senate President Pro Tempore? Or Senate Majority Leader? And what about House Majority Leader?
We can, friends, we can, because each one of these fine individuals is a member of the Fightin’ Filibusterers, our 2007 Fantasy General Assembly team.
And in case you were wondering, our colors this season are lavender and nutria, and our theme songs are “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” by Starship and “Ballin’ on a Budget” by the Nappy Roots.
Not surprisingly, “Mayor of Importanville” Bobby Harrell was once again the highest-rated Legislator this season (followed by Hugh Leatherman and Dan Cooper), but despite Harrell’s prodigious natural talent, we didn’t trade up to select him. To be perfectly honest -the guy’s got a little bit of an attitude problem.
He scores you a ton of points, sure, but we’re looking for a team player, not somebody who is 5′ 9″ and bitches in the locker room.
Harvey Peeler and Jim Merrill are both fantasy studs because they score huge points in all three major categories – productivity, publicity and partying down at legislative receptions. Merrill is already kicking ass and taking names in the wake of his showdown with uber-ingratiater Bill Stern, and Peeler is dishing witty quotes out to reporters like his name was Magic Johnson, yo.
Anyway, if McConnell (who we literally got for the price of two Mick Mulvaneys) can come through and get even half of that restructuring bill to the governor’s desk, we like our chances to bring the Fantasy General Assembly trophy home to UCLA come Sine Die.
We’re not kiddin. There is a six-foot tall trophy in our league. It’s even got a plaque on it where the names of the winning teams are engraved.
Our toughest competition this year will probably come from a formidable new squad called Bipartisanshit, but as usual, we ain’t skeered.
Watch us as we legislate, HA HA HA HA HA!!
