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Clooney

DEATH OF PET PIG SENDS ACTOR INTO GRIEF SPIRAL, TUSCAN VILLA COULD BE ANTIDOTE

FITSNews – January 9, 2007 – First of all George Clooney needs to not shave. Well, trim it every four days. So much hotter.

Anyway, if we were going to make up a more ridiculous animal-celebrity headline, it would probably have to involve Richard Gere and gerbiling, but who’s to say we didn’t start that little urban legend?

Nonetheless, fresh off the presses of the Indo-Asian News Service (where Indo is probably being smoked right now) we have the story of World’s Hottest Man George Clooney seeking solace in a Tuscan Villa so he can cope with the death of his nineteen year-old pig “Max.”

To which we can only say stop laughing – grief therapy is important, people.

Once, we accidentally stepped on an ant on the sidewalk and were so traumatized we had to make a pilgrimage to Tibet and seek an audience with His Holiness the Dalai Lama.

All God’s creatures, people. All God’s creatures.